What if only one side wants a divorce?

Asked by: Morton Lebsack  |  Last update: January 30, 2026
Score: 4.5/5 (63 votes)

If only one side wants a divorce, the spouse seeking it can still get one, as a partner's agreement isn't required, but it often makes the process longer, more contested, and potentially more expensive, involving filings, service of papers, and court hearings for default judgments if the other party doesn't respond or cooperate, though mediation can help if they become uncooperative. The uncooperative spouse can delay things, but can't ultimately stop the divorce in most U.S. states, which have no-fault grounds, requiring only a separation period and intent to end the marriage.

What happens when only one spouse wants a divorce?

Oftentimes the court will grant permission to publish a summons, asking your spouse to come forward and respond. The summons must run for 28 days, and your spouse has 30 days from the final publication date to respond. If they do not, you can request a divorce by default.

What is the #1 thing that destroys marriages?

While different sources highlight various factors, many experts point to breakdown in communication, leading to contempt, disrespect, and lack of commitment, as the most destructive forces in a marriage, often manifesting as emotional distance, frequent criticism, and a feeling of being unheard or unloved. These issues erode trust and intimacy over time, with infidelity and power imbalances being extreme examples of these underlying problems. 

What happens if one person wants a divorce and the other refuses?

If one person refuses to divorce, the process doesn't stop; the filing spouse can proceed, often resulting in a default judgment where a judge makes decisions on assets, custody, and support based on the filing spouse's requests and the law, effectively granting the divorce even without full cooperation, though it typically takes longer and costs more due to necessary court involvement and litigation.
 

What happens if only one person agrees to a divorce?

While the court will still follow California law, which means that the spouse requesting divorce can't just have anything and everything they want, the terms of the divorce will tend to favor of the filing spouse if the other spouse refuses to take part in the process.

What Happens If You Want A Divorce, But Your Spouse Doesn't? | Williams Law

27 related questions found

Who loses more financially in a divorce?

Statistically, women generally lose more financially in a divorce, experiencing sharper drops in household income, higher poverty risk, and increased struggles with housing and childcare, often due to historical gender pay gaps and taking on more childcare roles; however, the financially dependent spouse (often the lower-earning partner) bears the biggest burden, regardless of gender, facing challenges rebuilding independence after career breaks, while men also see a significant drop in living standards, but usually recover better.
 

What is the 2 2 2 2 rule in marriage?

The 2-2-2 rule is a relationship guideline for couples to maintain connection by scheduling intentional time together: a date night every 2 weeks, a weekend away every 2 months, and a week-long vacation every 2 years, helping to prioritize the relationship amidst daily stresses and routines. It's a framework for regular quality time, communication, and fun, originating from a Reddit post and gaining traction for preventing couples from drifting apart by focusing on consistent connection. 

What is the 10-10-10 rule for divorce?

The "10/10 Rule" in military divorce determines if a former spouse receives direct payments from the military pension, requiring at least 10 years of marriage that overlap with 10 years of the service member's creditable military service. If this rule is met, the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) sends the court-ordered portion directly to the ex-spouse; if not, the service member pays the ex-spouse directly, though the court can still award a share of the pension. This rule affects how payments are made, not the eligibility for pension division itself, which is decided by state law. 

Why is moving out the biggest mistake in a divorce?

Moving out during a divorce is often called a mistake because it can harm your financial standing (paying two households), weaken your position in child custody (appearing less involved), and complicate asset division by creating an "abandonment" perception, making courts favor the spouse who stayed, though it's not always a mistake, especially in cases of domestic violence where safety is paramount. Staying in the home, even in separate rooms, preserves the status quo, keeps you present for kids, and maintains your connection to the property until formal agreements are made.
 

What happens if my partner doesn't want a divorce but I do?

If they have received the papers but have not replied, then you can still progress the divorce application, but you will just need to prove to the court, with evidence, that the other party has received the application and had the opportunity to respond.

What is the 7 7 7 rule in marriage?

The 777 rule for marriage is a relationship strategy to keep romance alive by scheduling consistent quality time: a date every 7 days, a night away every 7 weeks, and a longer holiday every 7 months, ensuring regular reconnection and preventing drifting apart through intentional presence and fun. It's a framework for prioritizing the partnership amidst daily routines, fostering stronger communication, intimacy, and fun.
 

What kills love in a marriage?

Problematic Conflict Styles

This means that if a couple frequently engages in negative conflict-resolving strategies, their relationship may not last as long, and more importantly, they may cease loving one another.

What is the #1 cause of divorce?

The number one reason for divorce is consistently cited as lack of commitment, often leading to infidelity, growing apart, and frequent conflict/arguing, with financial problems, poor communication, and addiction also being major factors that erode the foundation of a marriage. 

What are the three C's of divorce?

The "3 Cs of Divorce" generally refer to Communication, Cooperation, and Compromise, principles that help divorcing couples, especially those with children, navigate the process more smoothly by focusing on respectful dialogue, working together for shared goals (like children's welfare), and making concessions for equitable outcomes, reducing conflict and costs. Some variations substitute Custody or Civility for one of the Cs, emphasizing child-focused decisions or maintaining politeness.
 

Why stay in an unhappy marriage?

You feel a sense of obligation to your spouse and/or your family. You took your marital vows seriously and promised never to divorce, no matter what. Your spouse is dependent on you emotionally or physically. “I can't leave her when she is so depressed.” ”I can't abandon him with all his chronic health issues.”

What is the biggest mistake during a divorce?

The biggest mistake during a divorce often involves letting emotions drive decisions, leading to poor financial choices, using children as weapons, failing to plan for the future, or getting bogged down in petty fights that escalate costs and conflict, ultimately hurting all parties involved, especially the kids. Key errors include not getting legal/financial advice, fighting over small assets, exaggerating claims, and neglecting your own well-being. 

Who regrets most after divorce?

While surveys vary, some suggest men regret divorce more, but regret is common for both genders, often tied to who initiated it, financial strain (especially for women), or failing to try harder in the marriage; the person who ended the marriage often experiences regret, regardless of gender, feeling they should have done more to save it. Key factors influencing regret include financial impact (often harder on women), the specific reasons for divorce (e.g., infidelity vs. incompatibility), and the level of personal adaptation post-divorce. 

What are the four signs a marriage will end in divorce?

The four key signs of divorce, known as Dr. Gottman's "Four Horsemen," are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling, which signal destructive communication patterns like personal attacks, disdain, playing the victim, and shutting down emotionally during conflict, eroding respect and connection in a relationship. Recognizing these patterns is the first step to implementing antidotes like using "I feel" statements and taking breaks when overwhelmed to rebuild healthier communication.
 

How do I accept my marriage is over?

Accepting your marriage is over involves allowing yourself to grieve the loss, seeking support (therapist, friends), being kind and patient with yourself, focusing on self-care (exercise, healthy eating), creating new routines, and gradually embracing new possibilities while acknowledging the end of a significant chapter in your life. It's a process, not a single event, requiring honesty with your feelings and a focus on personal growth.
 

Does everything go 50/50 in a divorce?

A: In a divorce in California, the courts will divide everything in a fair and equitable manner. As far as community property goes, that effectively means everything is split 50-50.

Can my wife get half my social security in a divorce?

Yes, an ex-wife can get up to half (50%) of her ex-husband's Social Security benefit if they were married for at least 10 years, she's unmarried and at least 62, and her own benefit is less than what she'd get from his record, with payments not affecting his or current spouse's benefits. She receives the higher of her own benefit or the spousal benefit, up to 50% of the ex's full retirement amount, and if he dies, she could get 100% (a survivor benefit). 

How long do you have to be split up to get a divorce?

As long as you have been married for at least 12 months, regardless of when you separated, you can start divorce proceedings any time.

What is the 3 day rule in marriage?

The 3-day rule after an argument is a guideline designed to help couples work through an argument in the healthiest way possible. By giving your partner time and space to breathe, it's easier to resolve any underlying issues before they have the chance to blow up into something more.

Do most couples split bills 50/50?

Many couples split bills 50/50, especially if they are earning similar salaries. If your incomes are significantly different, however, a more equitable solution might be to split expenses proportionally according to each partner's income.

What are the 7 laws of relationships?

Matt shares seven principles that we can use to increase our marriage connections: Safety, Trust, Appreciation, Respect, Validation, Encouragement, and Dedication. By adhering to each of these principles our needs as well as our partner's needs can be met in healthy ways.