Am I obligated to support my parents?

Asked by: Blake Brekke  |  Last update: December 10, 2025
Score: 4.2/5 (68 votes)

Filial laws require children to provide for parents' basic needs such as food, housing, and medical care. The extent of filial responsibility varies by state, along with conditions that make it enforceable including the parent's age and the adult child's financial situation.

Is it my responsibility to support my parents?

So yes you are responsible to support them especially when they cannot. You should not question or interrogate where and what they are spending on just support them and do this with respect and love because they deserve it!

Can I be forced to support my parents?

In California, filial responsibility laws could obligate an adult child to financially support their infirm or indigent parent. Learn about how this duty of filial responsibility applies to estate and trust litigation by reading our in-depth analysis of California Family Code section 4400.

Is it our obligation to help your parents?

Reciprocal Duty: While children are obliged to support their parents, it's essential to note that the obligation goes both ways. Parents are also bound by law to support their children, especially when they are minors or are incapacitated.

Can you be forced to care for your parents?

Yes, you can refuse to care for elderly parents. However, filial responsibility laws obligate children to provide their parents with clothing, food, housing, and medical attention. In the United States, each state has its laws requiring children to take care of their elderly parents.''

My Parents Want Me to Fund Their Retirement Because I "Owe Them"

19 related questions found

Should I feel obligated to take care of my parents?

One common question that arises in these situations is whether there are any legal obligations or if you have to take care of your parents. In the United States, there is generally no legal requirement for adult children to provide care for their aging parents.

What states legally require you to care for elderly parents?

The states that have such laws on the books are Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, ...

Is it selfish to not want to take care of your parents?

Do I Have to Take Care of My Parents? Every person has the right to set their own boundaries. This may mean there is a limit to your involvement in their care, or it could mean that you go no contact with elderly parents. The choice is yours to make, and it's important to understand that you always have options.

What is a parentified daughter?

Parentification occurs when a child takes on developmentally inappropriate levels of responsibility for their family's emotional, physical, and/or mental well-being. This reverse parenting results in them becoming caregivers before they're physically, mentally, or emotionally ready for such responsibility.

Do people have a moral obligation to support their needy parents?

Assuming that your parents fulfilled their obligation as good parents—spending a lot of effort and money to get you to adulthood and launching you in life—you and your siblings owe them similar support in their old age (if they truly need it and you're all able to afford a share).

Is it my responsibility to care for my parents?

In the United States, each state has its laws requiring children to take care of their elderly parents. In 30 states, an adult is liable for their old parents' care after they are unable to care for themselves. However, the statute establishing this filial obligation has never been implemented in 11 of these states.

What happens when parents aren't supportive?

The Result of Lacking Emotional Support From Parents

Children are often left with feelings of loneliness, feeling awkward or different, and not being intrinsically understood. These intensify during general holidays, Mother's and Father's Day, and special occasions.

Which sibling should take care of parents?

Which sibling should take care of elderly parents? The eldest sibling typically becomes the primary caregiver, however, circumstances are different in each family. Siblings can try to divide tasks equally or based on their financial means and schedules.

Should kids financially support their parents?

“Helping your parents is one of the most noble things you can do,” Kirsten said. Taking care of parents financially, however, shouldn't be done at the risk of your own financial stability, she said.

What do we owe our elderly parents?

Ultimately, she says, there's something at least as important as giving time, physical care, a place to stay or even money. “I think the one thing we really owe our parents is respect,” she said. “That is very easy with parents like yours and mine.

Am I obligated to my parents?

Most filial laws require you to support your parents' basic living needs. These can include food, medical bills (mental and physical), housing, and additional care they receive, such as stays at nursing homes.

What is glass child syndrome?

It's an informal term often used to describe the challenges and unique strengths of the siblings of children with chronic illnesses or disabilities. In a TEDx talk, speaker Alicia Arena drew attention to this phenomenon that resonated with so many viewers who grew up with siblings who had special needs: glass children.

What are the signs of parentification trauma?

Children experiencing instrumental parentification might:
  • Feel physically exhausted, stressed, or burnt out due to the demands of taking on adult responsibilities.
  • Struggle with forming relationships outside of the family due to the time and energy spent caring for household responsibilities.

What is the eldest daughter syndrome?

Eldest daughter syndrome encompasses a range of behaviors and feelings stemming from the unique pressures and responsibilities often placed on the firstborn daughter in a family. Jones and King say signs that may indicate someone is experiencing eldest daughter syndrome include: Having a strong sense of responsibility.

Can I refuse to take care of my parents?

While filial responsibility laws in California may obligate you to support your elderly parents, there are valid reasons to refuse or limit your caregiving responsibilities. These reasons should be carefully considered and documented to protect yourself from potential legal consequences.

Is it OK to avoid your parents?

It's normal to dislike or even hate your parents if you feel they don't respect you or your boundaries. In more extreme circumstances, you might consider creating distance or even walking away from your parents.

How to deal with toxic old parents?

How to Deal With Toxic Parents
  1. Common Toxic Traits.
  2. Get Rid of Guilt.
  3. Don't Try to Change Them.
  4. Boundaries Are Key.
  5. No Need to Explain.
  6. Practice Self-Care.
  7. Set Up a Support System.
  8. Change Your Story.

Is it my responsibility to take care of my parents financially?

Filial laws require children to provide for parents' basic needs such as food, housing, and medical care. The extent of filial responsibility varies by state, along with conditions that make it enforceable including the parent's age and the adult child's financial situation.

What happens when no one can care for elderly parent?

Local government agencies often offer programs specifically designed to assist elderly individuals without caregivers. These programs may include financial aid, home-delivered meals, transportation services, and access to healthcare resources.

Am I responsible for my aging parents?

In 30 states, the child is responsible for the care of their elderly parents once they can no longer take care of themselves. However, in 11 of these states, the law that states this filial responsibility has never been enforced.