Can you be sued for being a homewrecker?

Asked by: Prof. Arvilla Mayer  |  Last update: February 19, 2026
Score: 4.2/5 (45 votes)

Yes, you can be sued as a "homewrecker" in a few U.S. states under old laws like Alienation of Affection, which allow a wronged spouse to sue a third party for breaking up their marriage, though it's rare and requires proving a loving marriage, the third party's interference, and resulting harm, with North Carolina, Hawaii, Mississippi, South Dakota, and Utah being among the few remaining states recognizing these claims. These lawsuits, sometimes paired with criminal conversation claims, seek monetary damages from the person who caused the marital breakdown, though many states have abolished them.

What states are the homewrecker lawsuit in?

How many states have homewrecker laws? Alienation of affection lawsuits can still be brought in at least five states: Mississippi, Hawaii, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah, according to a 2016 Duke Law Journal article.

Can you get in trouble for being a homewrecker?

In all states that still allow homewrecker suits, spouses may also request punitive damages (a monetary fine to punish defendants for their bad actions). Although criminal conversation and alienation of affection are similar, they require different types of evidence.

Can you sue someone for trying to break up your marriage?

Yes, You Can Sue Someone for Breaking Up a Marriage—Here's What You Need to Know. It's called alienation of affection. Cathy Meyer is a certified divorce coach, marriage educator, writer, and founding editor of DivorcedMoms.com.

Can I sue the side chick?

In some states, this is possible. Laws known as "alienation of affection" or "criminal conversation" once allowed a betrayed spouse to sue the third party for breaking up a marriage.

You Can Sue Your Marriage's Homewrecker in some states

23 related questions found

Can a homewrecker be sued?

In a handful of states, you actually can. But these jurisdictions are exceptions. Every other state bans these “homewrecker" or “heart balm" claims, as they are sometimes called. Six states allow you to file a lawsuit against a person who had sex during your marriage with your spouse.

How much does it usually cost to sue?

Average lawsuit costs vary dramatically, from around $1,000-$5,000 for small claims to tens or even hundreds of thousands for complex civil cases, with median costs for typical matters like auto or employment disputes ranging from $43,000 to over $122,000, depending heavily on complexity, case type, attorney fees (often hourly or contingency), and expert witness involvement. 

What is the 7 7 7 rule in marriage?

The 777 rule for marriage is a relationship strategy to keep romance alive by scheduling consistent quality time: a date every 7 days, a night away every 7 weeks, and a longer holiday every 7 months, ensuring regular reconnection and preventing drifting apart through intentional presence and fun. It's a framework for prioritizing the partnership amidst daily routines, fostering stronger communication, intimacy, and fun.
 

What is the 10 10 10 rule for divorce?

The "10/10 Rule" in military divorce determines if a former spouse receives direct payments from the military pension, requiring at least 10 years of marriage that overlap with 10 years of the service member's creditable military service. If this rule is met, the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) sends the court-ordered portion directly to the ex-spouse; if not, the service member pays the ex-spouse directly, though the court can still award a share of the pension. This rule affects how payments are made, not the eligibility for pension division itself, which is decided by state law. 

What are homewrecker laws?

What is it? Alienation of affection, or 'heart balm' torts are cases brought in civil court when a third party interferes with an otherwise happy marriage. Many states have eliminated these suits, but North Carolina still has the law on its books.

How do I identify a homewrecker?

"Homewrecker signs" refer to behaviors indicating someone is interfering with or causing the breakup of a marriage/relationship, often involving an affair or emotional attachment outside the primary bond, with signs including secrecy (phone hiding, secret accounts), sudden changes in intimacy/appearance, increased defensiveness, emotional withdrawal, or excessive boundary crossing and flirting with a partner.
 

In what states is adultery still a crime?

States Where Adultery Is a Crime. Adultery remains a crime in Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Kansas, Michigan, Mississippi, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Wisconsin. Below are a few examples.

What kind of evidence do you need to prove adultery?

To prove adultery in court, you need strong circumstantial or direct evidence showing opportunity (circumstances allowing intimacy) and inclination (romantic or sexual interest), such as texts, photos, financial records for gifts/hotels, or witness testimony, proving sexual intercourse occurred, but you must gather evidence legally. Direct proof (like a sex tape) is rare, so combining evidence like phone records (calls, texts), hotel receipts, social media posts, or financial statements for gifts/trips is common, focusing on showing the spouse had the means and desire to have sex with someone else. 

Who loses more financially in a divorce?

Statistically, women generally lose more financially in a divorce, experiencing sharper drops in household income, higher poverty risk, and increased struggles with housing and childcare, often due to historical gender pay gaps and taking on more childcare roles; however, the financially dependent spouse (often the lower-earning partner) bears the biggest burden, regardless of gender, facing challenges rebuilding independence after career breaks, while men also see a significant drop in living standards, but usually recover better.
 

Is it worth suing for alienation of affection?

Suing for alienation of affection (AOA) can be emotionally draining, expensive, and difficult to win, with success depending heavily on strong evidence (like texts, emails, photos) proving a loving marriage was ruined by a third party's intentional interference, and the third party having assets to pay damages, though large verdicts have occurred, often in states like North Carolina where the claim still exists. It's often not worth it if you seek emotional closure over money, lack concrete proof, or if the defendant is broke, but it can provide significant financial compensation in strong cases, though mediation or focusing on divorce terms might offer better overall outcomes. 

Why is moving out the biggest mistake in a divorce?

Moving out during a divorce is often called a mistake because it can harm your financial standing (paying two households), weaken your position in child custody (appearing less involved), and complicate asset division by creating an "abandonment" perception, making courts favor the spouse who stayed, though it's not always a mistake, especially in cases of domestic violence where safety is paramount. Staying in the home, even in separate rooms, preserves the status quo, keeps you present for kids, and maintains your connection to the property until formal agreements are made.
 

Can my wife get half my social security in a divorce?

Yes, an ex-wife can get up to half (50%) of her ex-husband's Social Security benefit if they were married for at least 10 years, she's unmarried and at least 62, and her own benefit is less than what she'd get from his record, with payments not affecting his or current spouse's benefits. She receives the higher of her own benefit or the spousal benefit, up to 50% of the ex's full retirement amount, and if he dies, she could get 100% (a survivor benefit). 

What happens after 10 years of marriage and divorce?

The 10-year rule for Social Security benefits is a federal law that allows you to collect benefits based on your ex-spouse's earnings record if: You were married for at least 10 years. You are unmarried after the divorce. You are at least 62 years old.

What is the 2 2 2 2 rule in marriage?

The 2-2-2 rule is a relationship guideline for couples to maintain connection by scheduling intentional time together: a date night every 2 weeks, a weekend away every 2 months, and a week-long vacation every 2 years, helping to prioritize the relationship amidst daily stresses and routines. It's a framework for regular quality time, communication, and fun, originating from a Reddit post and gaining traction for preventing couples from drifting apart by focusing on consistent connection. 

How to make love unforgettable?

10 ways to make your love unforgettable

  1. Take your partner's breath away. ...
  2. Do something special on a regular basis. ...
  3. Frequent, loving eye contact (some culture call it eye gazing) is an especially powerful connection tool for bonding. ...
  4. Learn what pleases your partner sexually. ...
  5. Teach your partner what you like.

Who pays court fees in a lawsuit?

In the US, the rules can change depending on where you are and what kind of lawsuit it is. While each side usually pays its own legal fees (known as the American Rule), sometimes the court can make the person who loses pay some or all of the winner's lawyer fees and related costs.

What are the odds of winning a lawsuit?

The chances of winning a lawsuit vary greatly, but most personal injury cases (90-95%) settle out of court; for those that go to trial, plaintiffs win roughly 50-60% of the time, with car accidents having higher success rates (~61%) and medical malpractice cases having lower ones (~27-37%). Key factors influencing your odds include clear liability (proof the other party was at fault), strength of evidence (medical records, photos, witnesses), the type of case, and having an experienced lawyer. 

Is it better to have an attorney or a lawyer?

Neither is inherently "better"; they describe different qualifications, with an attorney being a specific type of lawyer who is licensed to represent clients in court, while a lawyer is a broader term for someone with a law degree who can offer general advice but not necessarily practice in court. For courtroom representation, you need an attorney; for basic legal guidance or document prep, a lawyer suffices.