How to co-parent when you live in different states?
Asked by: Hortense Gulgowski | Last update: October 22, 2025Score: 4.3/5 (69 votes)
Maintaining a Connection Across Distance Regular visits during school breaks, consistent communication, and thoughtful gestures can help maintain a strong bond. Discuss schedules and expectations with your co-parent to create a plan that works for everyone. Technology offers valuable tools for staying connected.
How does co-parenting work in two different states?
An out-of-state custody agreement generally grants one parent sole physical custody and the other parent visitation rights. Although children benefit from spending time with both parents, courts don't want to force excessive travel.
How does long distance co-parenting work?
In a common long-distance schedule, the non-custodial parent has the child for one or two weekends per month. Or, you can have a week-long visit once every two or three months. The ideal schedule considers the child's age, the specific distance, co-parents' availability, and travel expenses.
Can parents have joint custody if they live in different states?
Joint Custody Is Less Likely
The courts in California prefer joint custody when it is safe and reasonable. The law holds that a child fares best when kept in frequent contact with both parents after a divorce. However, this may not be possible if the parents live in different states.
How to coparent with someone out-of-state?
- Optimize communication between parents.
- Fully utilize available technology.
- Integrate into child's life.
- Enhance flexibility.
- Develop travel protocol.
Co-Parenting: If Parents live in different states.
How does child support work if parents live in different states?
For example, if the parent who's required to pay support moves from California to Colorado and falls behind in payments, the state of California has jurisdiction and the legal right to take action against that parent. If both parents move, the original issuing state can transfer its jurisdiction to that new location.
Can a father stop a mother from moving out of state?
California law affirms that custodial parents (those with sole physical custody) have the right to change their children's residence. However, this right is subject to the court's authority to block any relocation that may adversely impact a child's rights or well-being (Cal. Fam. Code § 7501(a) (2023)).
What not to say during a custody battle?
Avoid cursing and putting down the other parent, your children, in-laws, and other family members, the mediator, the judge, and others involved in the process. That can be tricky when sensitive topics, such as substance abuse, are at play.
How do I share custody between states?
An out-of-state custody arrangement will be required if one of the parents decides to move to another state. Both parents must be involved in creating the written agreement with the counsel of their lawyers. The family court will assess the guidelines of the standard arrangement.
How to co-parent when you live far away?
- #1: Set Up a Schedule for Phone Calls. ...
- #2: Provide Unconditional Emotional Safety. ...
- #3: Sync Calendars With Your Co-Parent. ...
- #4: Agree to a Visitation Schedule You Can Follow. ...
- #5: Respect Everyone's Privacy. ...
- #6: Surprise Your Kids in Fun Ways.
How many nights is 60-40 custody?
If you and your co-parent stick to a standard 60/40 schedule, one co-parent will have four overnights per week, and the other will have three. Joseph Cadicina, family and divorce attorney, says, “In a 365-day year, one parent will have 219 overnights, and the other will have 146.”
When one parent refuses to coparent?
A parent's failure or refusal to co-parent in California can sometimes lead to modification of a custody order, but in extreme cases, a parent can face involuntary termination of their parental rights.
What is the two parent rule?
In provinces where multi-parent families are not permitted, a maximum of two people can have the legal status – and therefore the responsibilities and obligations – of a parent. If other people also wish to care for a child, they must be authorized to do so by the parents or the court.
How to split custody of a child?
- Alternating weeks schedule when the child lives with one parent for one week and the other parent the next week.
- Two weeks each schedule when the child lives with one parent for two weeks and the other parent the next two weeks.
Are child custody laws different in each state?
State law governs most legal matters involving the family. Child custody is no exception. Child custody laws are fairly similar across states, but there are some notable variations. Knowing your state's particular laws is key for understanding your parental rights and preparing for court.
What is the biggest mistake in custody battle?
The Most Common Mistakes Made in California Child Custody Cases. Failing to respond to a child custody case will not make the issue go away. Instead, it could lead to a default judgment. This means that whatever the other party is requesting will most likely be granted by the judge because you have not given any input.
What not to do when co-parenting?
Do not discuss child support issues in front of the children, regardless of a child's age. Do not ask your child to pass messages to the other parent, even if they are the eldest, or an adult. Do not introduce a new partner or discuss a possible plan to move with the children without first informing the other parent.
Who wins most child custody cases?
It is true that mothers typically HAVE custody of their children, but that's mostly because the men take off. Statistically, in the US, when a man asks for shared custody, he gets it, and in cases where men go to court to get full custody, they get it a majority of the time.
What state is the hardest on child support?
The varying yardsticks create some surprising results. For example, New Jersey ranks 47th in child support payments, even though it's one of the most expensive states in which to live. Massachusetts is first, and Nevada second.
Can I get full custody if the father lives in another state?
In most situations, you can file for custody in the “home state” of the child. The “home state” is the state where the child has lived (with a parent or a person acting as a parent) for at least the last six consecutive months before a parent files for custody - however there are exceptions to this rule.
Which gender wins more custody battles?
In fact, on the national average, a female parent is granted around 65% of custody time, whereas a male parent receives around 35%. Blogs covered in this blog: Numerous States award shared custody, with both female and male parents each granted a full 50% of the time with their children.
Can I stop my ex from moving away with my child?
If you and the other parent cannot reach an agreement about changing a judgment or order to allow the child to relocate, or you think the move is not in your child's best interests, you'll usually need to ask the court for a hearing date so the judge can decide. Get step-by-step instructions on how to file a request.
Can you have 50/50 custody and live in different states?
It's possible to have joint custody of your children, even if both of the parents live in different states.
Who pays for travel for child visitation?
Generally, both parents are expected to contribute to these costs, but the extent to which each parent contributes can depend on a range of factors. The custodial parent, who typically has the child living with them most of the time, may be responsible for routine transportation costs.