Is it better to be married or common law?

Asked by: Roxane Terry  |  Last update: January 30, 2026
Score: 4.9/5 (60 votes)

Neither marriage nor common-law is universally "better"; the ideal choice depends on your priorities, offering different legal, financial, and personal benefits, with marriage providing automatic rights (inheritance, property division, tax breaks) but less flexibility, while common-law offers freedom but requires careful legal planning (cohabitation agreements) to secure similar protections, especially during separation or death.

What are the disadvantages of common law marriage?

Finances & Properties

A significant difference between common law marriage vs. marriage is that, unlike married couples, people in a committed intimate relationship do not have the automatic right to survivorship benefits or the ability to inherit unless provided for in estate planning.

What is the 3 3 3 rule for marriage?

The "3 3 3 rule" in marriage typically refers to a couple dedicating 3 hours of uninterrupted alone time for each partner weekly, plus 3 hours of focused couple time weekly, aiming to reduce resentment, increase connection, and ensure both personal space and shared intimacy, often broken into smaller segments for flexibility. It's a tactic to create balance and intentional connection, combating the disconnect that often happens with busy lives and children, allowing partners to recharge individually while also nurturing the relationship. 

Are there benefits to common law marriage?

Common Law Marriage Benefits

Couples living together who claim and represent themselves as married can receive the following benefits: Eligible to receive Social Security benefits from a spouse. Qualify for health insurance and other employer benefits through your spouse. Marital exemptions to your estate are unlimited.

What are the downsides of getting married legally?

Comments Section

  • Legal and financial status changes may not be what you want
  • It costs money to arrange (though if you're going very simple, it's probably not too bad)
  • Greater risk of financial loss if you separate
  • Harder to separate if you do want to

Common Law Marriage vs. Traditional Marriage

24 related questions found

What is the 7 7 7 rule in marriage?

The 777 rule for marriage is a relationship strategy to keep romance alive by scheduling consistent quality time: a date every 7 days, a night away every 7 weeks, and a longer holiday every 7 months, ensuring regular reconnection and preventing drifting apart through intentional presence and fun. It's a framework for prioritizing the partnership amidst daily routines, fostering stronger communication, intimacy, and fun.
 

What is the #1 reason marriages fail?

The number one reason marriages fail, consistently cited in studies, is lack of commitment, reported by a large majority of divorcing couples as the primary cause, often manifesting as poor communication, financial issues, infidelity, or drifting apart. Other major factors include excessive arguing, infidelity, financial problems, marrying too young, and unrealistic expectations, all stemming from a fundamental breakdown in dedication to the partnership.
 

Why is common law the best?

Unlike what is known as statutory law, which is based on written legislation by lawmakers, common law evolves through court rulings and interpretations. This means that judges play an active role in not just upholding the law but shaping it by interpreting how it applies to specific cases.

Does the IRS recognize common law marriage?

Common law marriages are recognized for federal income tax purposes if they are recognized by the state in which the taxpayers reside. If the taxpayers later move to a state which does not recognize common law marriages, they are still considered married for federal income tax purposes.

What benefits will I lose if I get married?

Getting married can cause you to lose or reduce needs-based government benefits like SSI (Supplemental Security Income), Medicaid, Food Stamps (SNAP), and low-income housing, as these programs consider combined household income and assets, potentially disqualifying you if your new spouse earns too much or has significant resources. You may also lose benefits from Social Security if you're receiving them as a surviving spouse, divorced spouse, or disabled adult child (DAC) based on someone else's record, though benefits on your own SSDI record generally remain unaffected. 

What is the #1 thing that destroys marriages?

While different sources highlight various factors, many experts point to breakdown in communication, leading to contempt, disrespect, and lack of commitment, as the most destructive forces in a marriage, often manifesting as emotional distance, frequent criticism, and a feeling of being unheard or unloved. These issues erode trust and intimacy over time, with infidelity and power imbalances being extreme examples of these underlying problems. 

What is the 72 hour rule in marriage?

The "72-hour rule" in marriage usually refers to an Evangelical Christian concept encouraging couples to have sex at least every three days to maintain intimacy, though experts emphasize communication over strict frequency, with some suggesting discussing issues within 72 hours to avoid escalation. Other interpretations involve avoiding impulsive post-breakup decisions or, in legal contexts, waiting periods for marriage licenses in specific states like Texas, but the main marital focus is intentional sexual connection or conflict resolution within that timeframe. 

What are the toughest years of marriage?

The hardest years of marriage often fall into two main periods: the early years (1-4) when the honeymoon fades and realities like finances, chores, and kids set in, and the middle years (5-10) where parenting stress, midlife issues, and deeper unresolved conflicts often peak, leading to higher dissatisfaction and divorce rates, especially around the 7th and 10th years. Key challenges include adjusting to married life, managing young children, financial stress, and communication breakdowns as partners realize their initial expectations differ from reality. 

Why is common law marriage not a thing anymore?

In most situations, California does not recognize common law marriage because, under state law, a formal marriage cannot materialize simply because a couple lives together or verbally consents to such a relationship.

Which court marriage is best?

Type 1: Marriage Under the Special Marriage Act, 1954

This type of marriage is available to interfaith and inter-caste couples or those who wish to marry outside religious norms. It is ideal for couples who belong to different religions or who do not wish to follow traditional ceremonies.

What are the problems with common law?

Disadvantages of Common Law: Common Law is rigid once a rule is established. This causes inflexibility, which can be a problem especially when the decision is outdated or used out of context. Common Law can be illogical since the rule is dependent on the context, situation, judge or society in which it is judged.

What is the IRS 7 year rule?

The IRS 7-year rule generally refers to the extended time you need to keep tax records if you file a claim for a loss from worthless securities or a bad debt deduction, giving you up to 7 years from the due date of the return to claim a refund or credit for those specific issues. While the standard record retention is usually 3 years, this 7-year period ensures you have documentation for these specific, potentially complex, financial losses. 

Do you have to be legally married to be married in the eyes of God?

Whether you need a legal marriage to be married in God's eyes depends on your faith, but many believe God recognizes a covenant made with commitment and witnesses, even without state paperwork, though legal marriage is often encouraged for legal protections and to honor governing authorities. Biblical examples like Adam and Eve, and Jewish tradition, suggest marriage can be recognized by God through covenant and consummation, but many Christian denominations emphasize both religious vows and civil registration for practical and testifying purposes, following Romans 13. 

What states do not follow common law?

While every one of the 49 other states in the country follows common law, Louisiana is the only state to follow civil law.

How many years is common law marriage in the US?

Living together: You may have heard that cohabitation with someone for ten years or more makes you common-law married. But, there is no statutory requirement for the length of time a couple needs to live together. The court considers the amount of time a couple lives together on a case-to-case basis.

Which type of law is best?

Constitutional law, the highest form of legislation, lays forth the fundamental values and regulations that guide a country or state. It establishes the parameters for the legal system, protects individual rights, and specifies the authority and bounds of the several branches of government.

What is the main purpose of common law?

Common law is deeply rooted in the principle of stare decisis ("to stand by things decided"), where courts follow precedents established by previous decisions. When a similar case has been resolved, courts typically align their reasoning with the precedent set in that decision.

What is the 5 5 5 rule in relationships?

The 5-5-5 method is simple, according to Clarke. When a disagreement comes up, each partner will take 5 minutes to speak while the other simply listens, and then they use the final five minutes to talk it through.

What are the four behaviors that cause 90% of all divorces?

The four behaviors that predict divorce with over 90% certainty, known as the "Four Horsemen," are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling, identified by relationship researcher John Gottman; these toxic communication patterns erode a marriage by destroying trust and connection, with contempt being the most damaging. 

When to give up on a marriage?

You should consider leaving a marriage when there's ongoing abuse (physical, emotional, financial, sexual), repeated trust betrayal (like infidelity or major financial deceit), constant disrespect/contempt, or a complete breakdown in communication where you live like roommates, feel unsafe, or your needs are consistently ignored, especially after sincere efforts to fix things haven't worked. The decision to leave is serious, but abuse, a lack of safety, and deep-seated disrespect are clear indicators that it's time to prioritize your well-being and walk away.