What are the four rules of marriage?

Asked by: Mustafa Barton  |  Last update: February 11, 2026
Score: 5/5 (12 votes)

The "4 Laws of Marriage," popularized by Jimmy Evans' book The Four Laws of Love, are foundational principles for a strong union: Priority (spouse first), Pursuit (actively working on the relationship), Partnership/Possession (sharing everything as one), and Purity (total transparency and faithfulness). These laws, often rooted in biblical teachings, emphasize intentional effort, interdependence, and prioritizing the marriage above all other human relationships to achieve God's design for a successful marriage.

What are the four golden rules of marriage?

Follow the four golden rules – don't lie, keep your promises, argue productively and always play nice – and your relationship will never go anywhere but forward.

What are the 4 P's of marriage?

The "4 Ps of Marriage" can refer to different concepts, but most commonly it highlights marriage as Personal, Private, Public, and Permanent, emphasizing its deep, intimate, societal, and lasting nature, requiring intentional commitment. Other interpretations include Patience, Perseverance, Prayer, Prioritization, Partnership, Purity, Provision, Protection, Prophet, Priesthood, Performance, and even distinct partnerships like Financial, Sexual, Parenting, and Residential. 

What are the 4 pillars of marriage?

Commitment, Trust, Respect and Communication. Remember your relationship is like the house that you build on top of these pillars.

What are the 4 C's of marriage?

Dubbed the “4 C's”—Communication, Commitment, Condition, and Compromise— this model was inspired by the everyday challenges I observed among friends, family, and relationships around myself.

Real Men - 4 Laws of Marriage for Men

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What are the four F's of marriage?

God's love for us is free, total, faithful and fruitful (life-giving), and the couple's love for each other should be all these things as well. In fact, these four aspects of love – free, total, faithful, and fruitful – are mirrored in the vows & promises that a husband and wife exchange during their wedding.

What is the 5 5 5 rule in marriage?

The 5-5-5 rule in marriage refers to different communication/conflict strategies: one common method involves 5 minutes for Partner A to speak, 5 minutes for Partner B to speak (uninterrupted), and 5 minutes to discuss solutions. Another version focuses on daily connection: 5 minutes talking about the day, 5 minutes on something meaningful, and 5 minutes of physical touch. A third uses a mindfulness check: "Will this matter in 5 minutes? 5 days? 5 years?" to de-escalate conflict.
 

What is the 3 3 3 rule for marriage?

The "3 3 3 rule" in marriage typically refers to a couple dedicating 3 hours of uninterrupted alone time for each partner weekly, plus 3 hours of focused couple time weekly, aiming to reduce resentment, increase connection, and ensure both personal space and shared intimacy, often broken into smaller segments for flexibility. It's a tactic to create balance and intentional connection, combating the disconnect that often happens with busy lives and children, allowing partners to recharge individually while also nurturing the relationship. 

What are the 4 A's of marriage?

While every marriage is unique, certain patterns and recurring issues frequently contribute to marital breakdown. One helpful, though not exhaustive, framework for understanding these common causes is the “4 A's”: Adultery, Abandonment, Abuse, and Addiction.

What is the 7 7 7 rule in marriage?

The 777 rule for marriage is a relationship strategy to keep romance alive by scheduling consistent quality time: a date every 7 days, a night away every 7 weeks, and a longer holiday every 7 months, ensuring regular reconnection and preventing drifting apart through intentional presence and fun. It's a framework for prioritizing the partnership amidst daily routines, fostering stronger communication, intimacy, and fun.
 

What is the 2 2 2 2 rule in marriage?

The 2-2-2 rule is a relationship guideline for couples to maintain connection by scheduling intentional time together: a date night every 2 weeks, a weekend away every 2 months, and a week-long vacation every 2 years, helping to prioritize the relationship amidst daily stresses and routines. It's a framework for regular quality time, communication, and fun, originating from a Reddit post and gaining traction for preventing couples from drifting apart by focusing on consistent connection. 

What are the 3 A's of marriage?

The most common "3 A's of Marriage" are Attention, Affection, and Appreciation, representing key pillars for a strong, happy relationship, while other versions focus on concepts like Attachment, Attunement, and Admiration, or even negative "A's" leading to divorce like Adultery, Abandonment, Abuse, and Addiction. Generally, the positive "3 A's" emphasize giving your partner focused time (Attention), physical and emotional closeness (Affection), and recognizing their value (Appreciation). 

What is the hardest stage of marriage?

The hardest times in a marriage often occur during major life transitions, such as the first few years (adjusting to combined lives), around years 7-10 (the "7-year itch" or peak dissatisfaction as issues surface), and when raising children or entering retirement, with specific challenges often involving finances, communication breakdowns, differing expectations, parenting conflicts, and significant external stressors like job loss or health issues, though every couple's experience varies. 

What is the number one rule of marriage?

The Golden Rule.

Treat your significant other the way you would want to be treated. Be the person you would want to be married to. Keep in mind how your actions or inaction may impact your spouse.

What are the 5 A's of marriage?

The Five A's can guide healthy people into reciprocal adult relationships. Applying the principles of attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing can upgrade your participation in any relationship.

What are the top 3 marriage problems?

The top 3 marriage problems consistently cited by experts are communication breakdowns, financial disagreements, and intimacy issues, which often lead to deeper conflicts like differing parenting styles, unequal chores, lack of appreciation, and trust issues. Addressing these requires open dialogue, setting boundaries, financial planning, scheduled quality time, and rebuilding emotional and physical closeness to prevent resentment from building. 

What are the 3 C's in a marriage?

The most common "3 C's" for a successful marriage are Communication, Compromise, and Commitment, representing open dialogue, mutual give-and-take, and dedication to the partnership through challenges, forming the core pillars for lasting connection and fulfillment. Other variations sometimes include Connection, Consistency, or Compassion, but these core three are widely recognized as fundamental.
 

What are the big 5 in marriage?

There is now substantial research linking the domains of Neuroticism, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Openness (hereafter referred to as the BFM domains) to romantic relationship satisfaction in dating or married partners.

What are the 4 tastes of marriage?

One African wedding tradition is the tasting of the four elements, a ritual from the Yorùbá people where the newlyweds taste the four flavors intended to represent different stages of marriage: bitter, sour, hot, and, of course, sweet.

What is the 72 hour rule in marriage?

The "72-hour rule" in marriage usually refers to an Evangelical Christian concept encouraging couples to have sex at least every three days to maintain intimacy, though experts emphasize communication over strict frequency, with some suggesting discussing issues within 72 hours to avoid escalation. Other interpretations involve avoiding impulsive post-breakup decisions or, in legal contexts, waiting periods for marriage licenses in specific states like Texas, but the main marital focus is intentional sexual connection or conflict resolution within that timeframe. 

What are the 7 keys to a successful marriage?

To make a marriage work, focus on deep friendship, mutual respect, and positive interactions, using Gottman's principles: know each other's "love maps," nurture fondness, turn toward bids for connection, let your partner influence you, solve solvable problems calmly, overcome gridlock by understanding deeper dreams, and create shared meaning, while avoiding contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
 

What is the 70 20 10 relationship rule?

The 70-20-10 rule is primarily a learning and development framework for leadership, suggesting 70% comes from challenging experiences, 20% from relationships/feedback, and 10% from formal training, but it's also adapted for relationships, meaning appreciate 70%, work on 20% growth areas, and accept 10% quirks, and for content/innovation (70% proven, 20% premier, 10% experimental). It's a guideline, not a rigid law, for balancing growth, maintenance, and acceptance in different contexts.
 

What is the #1 predictor of divorce?

The biggest predictor of divorce, according to relationship research by Dr. John Gottman, is contempt, which involves treating your partner with disrespect, mockery, or superiority (eye-rolling, name-calling). Other key predictors, known as the "Four Horsemen," include criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling (withdrawing), with contempt being the most destructive as it signals a complete lack of respect and invalidates the partner. Decreased emotional responsiveness and affection, especially in the early years, also significantly predict marital failure.
 

What is the 10 minute rule in marriage?

The 10-minute rule in marriage is a communication technique where couples spend 10 minutes daily talking about their inner lives (hopes, fears, dreams, stresses) instead of logistics like work, kids, or problems, fostering deeper connection and preventing emotional distance, as popularized by researcher Dr. Terri Orbuch. It's about focused, distraction-free listening, showing commitment to understanding your partner beyond daily tasks, and can involve asking open-ended questions about their personal world, not just fixing issues.
 

What are the three R's in marriage?

Basically it comes down to three important things — resilience, respect, and responsiveness. Showing respect is one of the most powerful, loving things a couple can do in their marriage.