What are the seven golden rules of marriage?

Asked by: Mose Will  |  Last update: May 4, 2026
Score: 4.9/5 (64 votes)

The "seven golden rules of marriage" often refer to Dr. John Gottman's principles, focusing on love maps, fondness/admiration, turning towards, partner's influence, solvable problems, overcoming gridlock, and shared meaning, emphasizing deep friendship, respect, and managing conflict by avoiding contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling (the "Four Horsemen"). Other lists include practical tips like never both being angry at once, resolving conflicts before sleep, and prioritizing kindness and appreciation.

What are the 7 principles of a godly marriage?

Consider these seven gospel-centered principles.

  • Do Not Take Each Other for Granted. ...
  • Make Your Personal Walk with the Lord a Priority. ...
  • Remain Involved in a Strong Church. ...
  • Quickly and Completely Resolve Conflicts. ...
  • Be Honest with Each Other. ...
  • Be Circumspect in Your Dealings with the Other Sex. ...
  • Be Gracious to Each Other.

What are the 7 principles of marriage summary?

Key Themes and Insights Seven Principles: Outlines seven principles for a successful marriage: Enhance Your Love Maps, Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration, Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away, Let Your Partner Influence You, Solve Your Solvable Problems, Overcome Gridlock, and Create Shared Meaning.

What is the 777 rule for married couples?

Theres a rule out there called the 777 rule that offers couples a gentle, intentional way to keep their bond strong and their hearts aligned. The concept is simple yet powerful: have a date night every seven days, a weekend getaway every seven weeks, and a romantic holiday every seven months.

What are the rules of marriage according to the Bible?

The 7 Commandments of Christian Marriage

  • Thou shalt serve one another. ...
  • Thou shalt love unconditionally. ...
  • Thou shalt respect one another. ...
  • Thou shalt put no other earthly relationships before this one. ...
  • Thou shalt commit beyond feelings. ...
  • Thou shalt consider the other person's interest ahead of thine own.

The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman - Relationship Advice ► Book Summary

32 related questions found

What is the 3-3-3 rule for marriage?

The "3 3 3 rule" in marriage typically refers to a couples' strategy for balance and connection: three hours of individual alone time, three hours of uninterrupted time together, and sometimes a variation involving three chances to try something new before giving up, all scheduled weekly to reduce resentment and improve intimacy by ensuring both personal space and quality time are met. It's about proactively creating dedicated time for self-care and shared experiences to strengthen the relationship, preventing burnout and fostering closeness. 

What is a forbidden marriage according to the Bible?

Among the forbidden couples are parent-child, sister-brother, grandparent-grandchild, uncle-niece, aunt-nephew, and between half siblings and certain close in-laws. This "Levitical law" is found in Leviticus 18:6-18, supplemented by Leviticus 20:17-21 and Deuteronomy 27:20-23. Photo illustration, Shutterstock, Inc.

What is the 2 2 2 2 rule in marriage?

The 2-2-2 rule in marriage is a relationship guideline suggesting couples schedule regular, dedicated time together to maintain connection and prevent drifting apart, specifically: a date night every two weeks, a weekend getaway every two months, and a week-long vacation every two years. It provides a framework for consistent connection, communication, and fun, helping couples prioritize their relationship amidst busy lives by breaking routine and creating shared memories, with variations like staycations or at-home fun often suggested.
 

What are 7 promises of marriage?

The "7 vows of marriage" typically refer to the Saptapadi, the seven steps or promises made in Hindu weddings, covering nourishment, strength, prosperity, happiness, progeny, health, and lifelong friendship/companionship, symbolizing a journey of shared responsibility and commitment. While Western vows focus more on enduring love through all conditions ("for richer, for poorer," etc.), the Saptapadi outlines distinct commitments for each step around a sacred fire, creating a framework for partnership.
 

What is the 5 5 5 rule in marriage?

The 5-5-5 rule in marriage refers to different communication or connection strategies, primarily a conflict resolution technique where each partner gets 5 minutes to speak uninterrupted, followed by 5 minutes of dialogue, totaling 15 minutes to de-escalate and find solutions. Another variation focuses on daily connection: 5 minutes of talking about the day, 5 minutes on something meaningful, and 5 minutes of physical touch (like hugging), to stay close amidst busy lives. A third involves a mental check during arguments: "Will this matter in 5 minutes? 5 days? 5 years?" to gain perspective. 

What are the 5 C's of marriage?

The 5 Cs of marriage offer different frameworks, but commonly highlight Commitment, Communication, Compromise, Care/Compassion, and Connection/Compatibility, forming core principles for a strong bond, emphasizing trust, open dialogue, understanding differences, showing affection, and staying united through life's changes. Other versions might include Confession, Change, Co-parenting (Children), Cash, or Community, focusing on practical aspects like financial health, spiritual unity, or shared growth.
 

What are the 4 A's of marriage?

While every marriage is unique, certain patterns and recurring issues frequently contribute to marital breakdown. One helpful, though not exhaustive, framework for understanding these common causes is the “4 A's”: Adultery, Abandonment, Abuse, and Addiction.

Which is the most important rule of marriage?

"Ten Rules for a Happy Marriage".. !

  • Never both be angry at the same time.
  • Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
  • If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.
  • If you must criticize, do it lovingly.
  • Never bring up mistakes of the past.
  • Neglect the whole world rather than each other.

What are the 3 A's of marriage?

The most common "3 A's of Marriage" are Attention, Affection, and Appreciation, representing key pillars for a strong, happy relationship, while other versions focus on concepts like Attachment, Attunement, and Admiration, or even negative "A's" leading to divorce like Adultery, Abandonment, Abuse, and Addiction. Generally, the positive "3 A's" emphasize giving your partner focused time (Attention), physical and emotional closeness (Affection), and recognizing their value (Appreciation). 

What does the Bible say about a husband belittling his wife?

When Paul says, “husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church” (Ephesians 5:25), he is categorically prohibiting every attitude or behaviour that results in a husband devaluing, humiliating, belittling, or emotionally or physically wounding his wife.

What are God's requirements for marriage?

Covenant

  • It is a promise to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25)
  • It is a promise to live sacrificially for his wife (Eph. ...
  • It is to lead his wife spiritually (Ephesians 5:26)
  • It is to leave his parents and cleave alone to his wife (Ephesians 5:31)

Why is the number 7 important in marriage?

The Number 7 for Wedding Ceremonies and Life Events

A prominent example is called Saptapadi, (seven steps). This is a core part of a Hindu marriage ceremony, which states that the husband and wife take seven steps representing the seven principles and promises they make to each other.

What are the four rules of marriage?

Follow the four golden rules – don't lie, keep your promises, argue productively and always play nice – and your relationship will never go anywhere but forward.

What are the full marriage vows?

'I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow. '

What is the 3 6 9 rule in relationships?

The 3-6-9 rule is a relationship guideline suggesting three stages in the first year: the first 3 months are the "honeymoon" phase (infatuation); months 3-6 involve growing conflict as flaws appear; and months 6-9 are the "decision-making" stage where couples face real issues, with successful navigation leading to stability, while also advising to delay major commitments like sex or moving in until at least 3, 6, or 9 months to let love chemicals settle and see the real person.
 

Why do most 2nd marriages fail?

Unresolved Issues From Your First Marriage: One of the primary reasons for the high second-marriage divorce rate is the emotional baggage that individuals bring from their first marriages. Trust issues, unresolved conflicts, and emotional scars can all impact the stability of a second marriage.

What is the 7 7 7 rule for couples?

The 7-7-7 rule for couples is a relationship guideline suggesting they schedule consistent, quality time together: a date night every 7 days, a weekend getaway every 7 weeks, and a longer, romantic vacation every 7 months, designed to maintain connection, prevent drifting apart, and reduce burnout by fostering regular intentionality and fun. While some find the schedule ambitious or costly, experts agree the principle of regular, dedicated connection is vital, encouraging couples to adapt the frequency to fit their lives.
 

What are signs that God is telling you to leave a relationship?

* A Consistent Lack of Inner Peace: Instead of feeling calm and centered, the relationship brings you constant anxiety, stress, or unease. * It Hinders Your Spiritual or Personal Growth: The relationship prevents you from evolving, learning, or pursuing your own path and purpose.

Which religion does not support LGBTQ?

Many religions, particularly conservative branches of Christianity, Islam, and Orthodox Judaism, do not support LGBTQ+ individuals or same-sex relationships, viewing homosexual acts as sinful, while other faiths like some streams of Hinduism and Buddhism have mixed or more accepting views, and some denominations within these faiths are fully affirming. Specific denominations with non-supportive stances include the Catholic Church, Southern Baptist Convention, Assemblies of God, Jehovah's Witnesses, and Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), which generally condemn homosexual acts but vary in acceptance of individuals. 

Why can't you marry a divorced woman in the Bible?

Mark 10:11-12 (ESV) – “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” Jesus emphasizes that divorce and remarriage can lead to adultery.