What are the stages of child abandonment?
Asked by: Chanel Paucek | Last update: April 10, 2025Score: 4.9/5 (60 votes)
Although there can be a variety of different stages of abandonment and the experience can be unique for each individual, there have been 5 stages that have been popularized in recent years. The 5 stages of abandonment are shattering, withdrawal, internalizing, rage, and lifting, which is often referred to as S.W.I.R.L.
What are the 5 stages of abandonment?
Shattering, Withdrawal, Internalizing, Rage, and Lifting. Each of these stages relate to different aspects of human functioning and trigger different emotional responses. The first letter of each of these words spell SWIRL, a great description of the cyclonic nature of the intensity of healing abandonment.
What is an example of parental abandonment?
parental abandonment: not having anything to do with your kid not seeing them supporting them asking about them pretending they absolutely do not exist and have for months or years. Leaving them somewhere or alone and not coming back just disappearing Randomly dropping them off with someone and not coming back.
How do kids act with abandonment issues?
These can manifest in a variety of ways depending on the child and their age. These are some of the common things to look out for: Arching their back and moving away from touch. Inconsolable crying when a parent or caregiver leaves.
Can you have abandonment issues without being abandoned?
Abandonment issues can also be internalized later in life after a painful breakup, or the loss of a loved one. Sometimes, they come from feeling emotionally neglected or unsupported in your current relationships, but can develop even if you haven't experienced a traumatic event.
Causes of Child Abandonment
How does child abandonment affect adulthood?
It can have a profound impact on how you approach relationships as well as your emotional well-being as a whole. Even if the trauma happened early in childhood, the abandonment wound can continue to affect you into adulthood, affecting your mental health and interpersonal relationships.
What do severe abandonment issues look like?
Abandonment issues are a form of anxiety that occurs when an individual has a strong fear of losing loved ones. People with abandonment issues can have difficulties in relationships. They may exhibit symptoms such as codependency, clinginess, or manipulative behavior.
How do I heal my inner child abandonment issues?
- Acknowledge your feelings. ...
- Seek support. ...
- Practice self-compassion. ...
- Challenge negative beliefs. ...
- Develop healthy coping strategies: ...
- Work through grief. ...
- Avoidance of intimacy. ...
- Difficulty trusting others.
What happens when abandonment issues are triggered?
Abandonment wounds typically result in fear and anxiety marked by hypervigilance regarding signs that you are about to be abandoned again (Smith, 2018). We respond to our fear and anxiety by trying to predict when we are going to be left so that we can avoid it or at least prepare ourselves for the impact.
What does childhood abandonment look like?
What are some of the signs that a person may have been impacted by abandonment as a child? They need constant reassurance they're loved and won't be abandoned. They reject people before being rejected themselves. They have a pattern of volatile relationships or going from one relationship to another.
What does mother abandonment do to a child?
The child who experiences abandonment feels unwanted, rejected by his or her own parents, and deals with feelings of worthlessness that cause shame [32]. Unpleasant experiences can significantly alter children's perception of their relationships with others, leading to a loss of trust in people.
What not to say to someone with abandonment issues?
Abandonment issues can be hard to overcome, even with a supportive partner. Don't take your partner's fears personally, and try to refrain from telling them they're being irrational. Instead, gently encourage them to open up about their fears so that you can both work to build a healthier relationship.
What is it called when a child abandons their parents?
But in other cases, adult children end up disowning parents and other family members, sometimes referred to as parental estrangement. Parental estrangement occurs for all kinds of reasons. It's rarely an easy choice to make.
How does abandonment trauma show up?
PTSD from abandonment trauma can leave people feeling anxious and worried about their own physical and emotional safety. Children worried about how their basic needs will be met may suffer from anxiety and have a pronounced need for control over what's happening around them.
What is the wound of abandonment in childhood?
For those that have an abandonment wound, they may tend to feel left out in group environments, struggle to be alone and therefore attach easily and quickly to others, threaten to leave when activated, let boundaries be crossed in order to prevent being left, and of course fear further abandonment in relationships.
What is the shattering stage of abandonment?
Stages of Abandonment Trauma
Shattering: You may feel confused, devastated, shocked, and in pain. If you parted ways with your loved one, you may still feel attached to them, as if you can't survive alone. You may sometimes experience sorrow and despair, while you get a spark of hope at other times.
How to tell if your child has abandonment issues?
- Need for reassurance.
- Difficulty sleeping at night (needing parents in the room)
- Difficulty letting parents out of their sight.
- Difficulty being independent when dropped of at school.
- Difficulty making friendships.
- Hyperactivity.
- Irritability.
How do people with abandonment issues behave?
Many people with abandonment issues fear that others won't want to be close to them. This leads them to engage in people-pleasing behaviors in an attempt to avoid rejection. Codependent people may ignore their own needs and feel unsafe when they're not around their partner.
What are the symptoms of orphan syndrome?
Orphan disease - symptoms
The most common symptoms of the disease include appetite and sleep disorders, anxiety, agitation, rocking and thumb sucking. Older children have problems communicating with the environment and are unable to establish relationships with others.
Where is abandonment trauma stored in the body?
While trauma isn't necessarily “stored” in the body in a physical sense, it can have a lasting impact on your nervous system and emotional centers of the brain.
What are the four inner child wounds?
- Trust – You may have been let down as a child and therefore now find it hard to trust people.
- Abandonment – You may have been left by a parent, given up for adoption or put into the care system. ...
- Neglect wound – You may have been treated poorly and or abused by your caregivers.
How to heal from childhood rejection trauma?
To address this, it's crucial to engage in social situations and seek supportive social groups. Being part of a healthy social environment allows you to overcome social anxiety and heal from rejection trauma. Facing your fears and surrounding yourself with positive influences will aid in recovery and personal growth.
What are the effects of child abandonment by mother?
When a child is abandoned, they experience a deep sense of loss and rejection. This can lead to feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem, and a lack of trust in others. These emotional scars can persist into adulthood and impact their ability to form healthy relationships.
How to tell if a girl has abandonment issues?
Common Signs of Abandonment Issues in Women
Women with abandonment in their background may pick fights and find problems even when things are going well. They choose partners who are likely to leave them, becoming overly attached or noncommittal for too long.