What can I do if my 17 year old refuses to come home?

Asked by: Lorenz Altenwerth Sr.  |  Last update: April 17, 2025
Score: 4.6/5 (30 votes)

These include:
  1. Use a graduated system to rectify the situation.
  2. Open up a reasonable line of communication with the noncustodial parent.
  3. Ascertain why the teen does not want to come home.
  4. Consider the age of the teen and the possibility for a change.
  5. Involve law enforcement.
  6. Seek a court order.
  7. Seek legal assistance.

Can my parents control me at 17?

Legally in the US, yes they do. Until you turn 18 they have total legal control of you including any money you earn. You own nothing, you cannot leave the home without breaking the law without permission, you have no actual rights beyond basic food, shelter, safety and freedom from abuse.

Can I call the police if my child doesn't come home?

If your child has run away, you need to call the police, plain and simple.

How do you deal with a defiant 17 year old?

Strong rules and boundaries, consistency, and decisive action are the best strategies for dealing with a defiant teen. Parents must pay close attention to their parenting habits and skills when their son or daughter is defiant.

What age can you refuse to go home?

While the general rule re refusal to visit a parent doesn't occur until age 18, a child can “self-emancipate” from both parent's control. To pursue emancipation through a court decree, the child can file for a declaration of emancipation without their parent's permission in some states.

What can I do if my teenager doesn’t want to see me for my parenting time?

34 related questions found

Does a parent have to go to court with a 17 year old?

You could go alone. But it may look better to the judge if one or both parents are with you. Remember that the judge has the discretion to take your license if you are found to have acted in a willful manner for certain offenses.

Can I refuse to go to my dad's house?

Children who are considered legal adults (age 18 in most states) may always refuse to spend time with a parent. Technically, any child who is not yet a legal adult isn't allowed to refuse visitation. In practice, however, the situation is a bit murkier than that.

What is normal 17-year-old behavior?

17-Year-Old Milestones

At 17 years old, your child is likely looking forward to what awaits them after high school, but they might also be apprehensive about entering the adult world. It's common for you, as well, to experience stress and uncertainty as they approach adulthood.

How do you deal with a defiant adult child?

13 Ways to Deal With a Disrespectful Grown Child
  1. Take a Deep Breath Before Responding. ...
  2. Remain Respectful. ...
  3. Set Clear Boundaries. ...
  4. Consistently Reinforce the Boundaries. ...
  5. Make Sure You Have Realistic Expectations. ...
  6. Be Open to Listening & Empathizing. ...
  7. Acknowledge Your Mistakes & Apologize. ...
  8. Call Out Disrespectful Behavior.

Why is 17 a difficult age?

17-Year-Old Emotional and Social Milestones

Others, however, may be feeling less confident about the realities of pending adulthood. They may even feel lost and confused over the future. Teens this age also may even struggle to show responsibility with their homework, chores, and daily responsibilities.

What to do when your 17 year old won't come home?

These include:
  1. Use a graduated system to rectify the situation.
  2. Open up a reasonable line of communication with the noncustodial parent.
  3. Ascertain why the teen does not want to come home.
  4. Consider the age of the teen and the possibility for a change.
  5. Involve law enforcement.
  6. Seek a court order.
  7. Seek legal assistance.

Can the police help me get my child back?

Law enforcement does have the legal right to enforce a child custody order; however, custody disputes are usually considered a civil matter and the police might refuse to get involved. Child custody issues can become very complicated, and there is no one correct answer to all situations.

What can I do if my 17 year old runs away?

As soon as you learn that your child has run away, report them as missing to your local police. Ask your police agency to conduct a search within a mile radius of where your child was last seen or believed to have gone.

Can my parents tell me what to do at 17?

Parents Get to Make the Rules in Their Home

The truth is, no matter how old your child, you have the right to make and enforce the rules of your house.

What rights do you get at 17?

Here are five legal rights you have under age 18.
  • Be Treated For STDs Without A Guardian's Knowledge (In Some States) ...
  • Register As Organ Donors In 48 States. ...
  • Get A Passport Without Parental Consent. ...
  • Donate Blood (With Parental Consent) ...
  • Get Confidential Counseling For A Drug Or Alcohol Problem (In Certain States)

At what age is a parent not legally responsible?

The Duration of Parents' Legal Obligations: The Basics

In most states, parental obligations typically end when a child reaches the age of majority, 18 years old. But, check the laws of your state, as the age of majority can be different from one state to the next.

When should you walk away from an adult child with mental illness?

When should you walk away from an adult child with mental illness? Consider walking away if their behavior becomes harmful or if they refuse help despite your efforts. Prioritize your well-being and seek support for tough decisions.

What does Oppositional Defiant Disorder look like in an adult?

Oppositional defiant disorder in adults causes the individual to act out in three ways: constantly angry or in a bad mood, defiant or argumentative behaviors, and vindictiveness. For instance, the person may start arguments with their romantic partner or refuse to follow instructions from their boss.

How to deal with a toxic adult child?

How to Handle a Toxic Relationship with Your Adult Child
  1. Set boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries with your child can help make your relationship less toxic. ...
  2. Take accountability for any role you may play. ...
  3. Have a support system. ...
  4. Take care of yourself. ...
  5. Seek therapy. ...
  6. Cut them off.

What should 17 year olds be responsible for?

building and maintaining relationships (managing their feelings and impulses, empathizing and working through conflict, being dependable, and keeping promises). managing homework and extracurricular activities. contributing to their family (doing chores, cooperating with expectations and rules).

What mental health issues do 17 year olds have?

Emotional disorders

Anxiety disorders (which may involve panic or excessive worry) are the most prevalent in this age group and are more common among older than among younger adolescents. It is estimated that 4.4% of 10–14-year-olds and 5.5% of 15–19-year-olds experience an anxiety disorder (1).

Is 17 a rebellious age?

Teenage rebellion usually begins at around 13 years old, while for some it may start to happen 1-2 years before puberty. It then ends at around 18-24 years old. They may experiment with different roles, behaviors, and ideologies as part of this process of developing an identity.

What happens when a child refuses to go with a parent?

Sometimes, with older children who refuse visitation, it may not be considered the parent's fault if the visit didn't happen. But if a child continually refuses to follow the visitation schedule, regardless of the child's age, then a parent may decide to get the court involved through contempt proceedings.

Do I legally have to see my dad?

It is usually in the best interests of the child to have contact with both parents. The law provides that father's should have “reasonable access” to their children. However, there is no set guidelines for reasonable access for father.

Can your parents force you to come home?

You're no longer a minor so you're not legally obligated to return and they are not legally obligated to get you.