What does an unhealthy argument look like?

Asked by: Tressie Rolfson  |  Last update: September 3, 2025
Score: 4.3/5 (39 votes)

Unhealthy fights rely on things like name-calling, anger, and thinking only of your perspective, while healthy fighting is about speaking your truth while also giving attention to what your partner thinks.

What is an example of an unhealthy argument?

"They start to place blame on the other partner, which is never a healthy situation to be in." The hallmark of an unhealthy argument is when one partner starts saying the word "you" a lot. "You did this. You did that. It's your fault."

What does a bad argument look like?

If the argument is invalid, then it's a bad argument: it's an argument that is intended to give conclusive support for it's conclusion, but fails to do so. Game over. Think of a student sitting in a mathematics exam and making a crucial mistake in a proof. Then the student's answer is invalid and therefore, bad.

What does a toxic argument look like?

It shows blatant disrespect for your partner and puts you on a higher ground. Such behaviours include eye rolling, sneering, name-calling, hostile humour and sarcasm. Nothing is more destructive to love than contempt. To fight contempt, couples have to work very hard to create a culture of appreciation.

How much arguing is unhealthy?

“However, there are a couple of key warning signs that you may be fighting too much… If you are in a relationship in which you find yourself having verbal disagreements daily or more disagreements than agreements, this would be considered unhealthy,” Jackson says.

Healthy vs Unhealthy Arguments

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What does healthy arguing look like?

Be Respectful and Gentle

The most important aspect of healthy conflict is the respect each partner gives to the other. When you come from a place of respect, you're less likely to say things you'll later regret. You'll remember that you and your partner are on the same team, even if you have different views.

Is arguing everyday a toxic relationship?

Occasional conflicts and arguments are a part of every relationship, but constantly fighting with your partner is stressful and unhealthy. A pattern of fighting can lead to toxic and harmful behavior that could ultimately end your relationship.

What do narcissists say in an argument?

Narcissists may use threats or intimidation as a manipulative tactic to keep the victim under their control. They might say, “If you leave, I'll ruin your life,” or “You'll regret it if you ever cross me.”

What are signs of weak arguments?

A weak argument often lacks solid evidence, includes exaggerated generalizations, or relies on logical fallacies.

Is shutting down during an argument toxic?

Whatever the underlying cause, stonewalling can damage a relationship. 1 Partners who are stonewalled often feel demeaned or abused. They may even begin to question their own self-worth. Moreover, shutting someone out often escalates the very situation it was meant to avert.

What is an example of a flawed argument?

Example: Filthy and polluting coal should be banned. Arguing that coal pollutes the earth and thus should be banned would be logical. But the very conclusion that should be proved, that coal causes enough pollution to warrant banning its use, is already assumed in the claim by referring to it as "filthy and polluting."

What not to say when arguing?

"I told you so" Resist the urge to say "I told you so" after an argument with your partner. Here's why focusing on solutions is better: It focuses on blame, not solutions: Saying "I told you so" assigns blame, making your partner feel defensive and hindering productive conversation.

How do you identify weak arguments?

A weak argument will lack one of three things: a claim, relevant reasoning, and reliable evidence. An argument with no claim is not actually arguing anything and likely just expounding on fact.

What is an example of a bad argument?

using what you are trying to disprove. That is, requiring the truth of something for your proof that it is false. For example, using science to show that science is wrong. Or, arguing that you do not exist, when your existence is clearly required for you to be making the argument.

Do good relationships have fights?

“How often should couples fight?” is a question that can be answered in any number of ways, but a healthy argument is rarely something healthy couples need to worry about. It's perfectly normal when couples argue if they engage in healthy fights that take each other's point of view and feelings into consideration.

How do you fix a bad argument?

What to do after a fight with your partner, according to a relationship coach
  1. Step 1: Express how you feel. ...
  2. Step 2: Share your realities and validate each other. ...
  3. Step 3: Disclose Your Triggers. ...
  4. Step 4: Take ownership of your role. ...
  5. Step 5: Preventative planning.

How to spot a bad argument?

Identifying Illogical Arguments
  1. Ad Hominem. Attacking the author of ideas does not imply that his/her argument is flawed. ...
  2. Appeal to Authority. Always remember, the authorities might be wrong.
  3. Appeal to Ignorance. ...
  4. Bandwagon Appeal. ...
  5. Begging the Question/Circular Argument. ...
  6. Composition. ...
  7. Correlation, Not Causation. ...
  8. Division.

What makes an argument toxic?

Toxic arguments happen when there is blame and contempt. This destroys any chance of sustaining a healthy connection. By having the course got confront these patterns, you can transform your communication. Resolution only takes a willingness to get started and look at yourself.

What weakens an argument?

Since the premises are taken to be true, the way to decrease the strength of an argument is to attack its assumptions that the argument relies upon. A weaken correct choice doesn't need to demolish the argument completely; it'll just make it significantly weaker.

What are the four words you should never say to a narcissist?

8 Things You Should Never Say to a Narcissist
  • Don't say, "It's not about you." ...
  • Don't say, "You're not listening." ...
  • Don't say, "Ina Garten did not get her lasagna recipe from you." ...
  • Don't say, "Do you think it might be your fault?" ...
  • Don't say, "You're being a bully." ...
  • Don't say, "Stop playing the victim."

How do narcissists apologize?

“I guess I should say I'm sorry.” They will subtly shift the blame back to you. “I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt.” “I'm sorry you feel that way, but it's not entirely my fault.

What are the five main habits of a narcissist?

Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder
  • Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
  • Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur.
  • Needs constant praise and admiration.
  • Sense of entitlement.
  • Exploits others without guilt or shame.

What is the 3 day rule after an argument?

The 3-day rule suggests that a person should wait for three days before making a decision or taking action after an argument.

How do toxic people argue?

Even when it's a clear-cut situation and what they have done is wrong, a toxic person will always argue that they are right and list reason after reason why you're wrong and the one to blame.

When to end a relationship?

If there is a frequent occurrence of disrespect, belittlement, or verbal/physical abuse, it is crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and consider ending the relationship. If possible, try to remember our relationships should be based on aspects of healthy understanding and support.