What if my child refuses to see her father?

Asked by: Kaya Bechtelar  |  Last update: June 12, 2025
Score: 4.1/5 (3 votes)

The first thing you should do when a child refuses visitation is to notify the other parent as soon as possible. Let them know what's happening, and explain the situation as clearly as possible. Some custody orders include preferred communication methods, and you should notify them via that method when possible.

What do I do if my child doesn't want to see her father?

If a child expresses a desire not to see their father, it is generally recommended to address the situation through the legal system. Parents may need to go back to court to seek modifications to the existing custody arrangement, presenting evidence and arguments to support any changes.

At what age can kids say they don't want to see their dad?

At What Age Can Teenagers or Other Children Refuse Visitation? Children who are considered legal adults (age 18 in most states) may always refuse to spend time with a parent. Technically, any child who is not yet a legal adult isn't allowed to refuse visitation.

Can a child say they don't want to see a parent?

Parental rights have been upheld by the Supreme Court as fundamental and, absent abuse, abandonment, or neglect, or the subtantial risk of it (due to a parent's own history, significant mental impairment, threats, etc.), a minor child should not be able to refuse visitation with a parent.

Can a mother refuse access to the father?

The answer to this question is almost always “no,” especially if there is a court order granting custody and parent-time to your child's father. What follows are potential exceptions to this general rule, but you should not withhold your child without discussing it with an experienced family law attorney beforehand.

What if my child doesn’t want to visit their other parent? Do I have to force them?

41 related questions found

What if the mother is not letting the child see the father?

The concerned parent should immediately seek appropriate child custody and visitation orders and bring his or her concerns to the court's attention. The parent whose contact is unreasonably prevented or limited should not stand idly by and do nothing. If he or she does nothing, the parent may establish a status quo.

Is it illegal to block the father of your child?

Unless a court order authorizes such action, one parent can't block another parent with custodial rights from contacting their own child.

Should I force my child to see his dad?

The court will always encourage that children have a relationship with both parents. Therefore, children should always be encouraged by Mum to go and see Dad if it's a safe and loving environment. If there's a reason for them not wanting to go and see their Dad, then that needs to be looked into to try and resolve it.

Can a child reject a parent?

There are many reasons why a child may reject a parent and resist spending time with them or refuse to. This rejection can be a natural consequence of experiences such as parental conflict before or after separation, family violence, personality factors, or poor parenting.

Can I call the police if my child refuses to come home?

Is it possible to call the police on your own child if they run away and refuse to come home? What actions can the police take in this situation? Your child is a run away, call it in as such. If you know where they are let the police know as well, it's against the law to harbor a run away.

What happens when a child refuses to go with a parent?

Sometimes, with older children who refuse visitation, it may not be considered the parent's fault if the visit didn't happen. But if a child continually refuses to follow the visitation schedule, regardless of the child's age, then a parent may decide to get the court involved through contempt proceedings.

How do you deal with a child that doesn't want to see you?

Allow your child to ask for a change of times and days when they see you and help them to feel comfortable doing this. If what they're asking for isn't possible, then explain why and work together to find alternative solutions. Remember to listen to your child's point of view.

Can I sue my ex for not letting me see my child?

If your ex won't let you see your child in violation of the custody agreement, the family court can order them to comply with the court order. For more information about enforcing a parenting plan, talk to a child custody lawyer for help.

Why does my child reject one parent?

Understand that it's a good sign.

If a child feels comfortable actively rejecting one parent, that means she's securely attached, Dr. Heard-Garris said. That may sound counterintuitive, but if a child were unsure of a parent's love, she would cling to any scrap of affection, Dr.

How often should kids see their dad?

The short answer is there are no set “rules” in terms of defining a child arrangement contact pattern as every family is different. Each case is judged on its own merits. There are no set number of hours either a father or mother is entitled to.

How to tell a child their dad doesn't want to see them?

Don't lie to them, keep it factual, answers such as “Daddy lives too far away” or “Mummy has chosen to live with John” if questioned, can be followed up with lots of reassurances of love and “I will always be with you” from you.

What is cold mother syndrome?

Cold mother syndrome refers to a parenting style characterized by emotional distance, dismissiveness, and rejection. This type of mothering is often accompanied by a lack of emotional availability and neglect of a child's emotional needs.

What is narcissistic parental alienation syndrome?

It is a process of psychological refusal from a child towards his/her parent as a result of the influence of the other parent. Such a phenomenon usually emerges from conflictual conditions and, notably, in cases of child custody disputes, evolving into “emotional abuse”4,5.

What to do when your child shuts you out?

Five Tips When Estranged and Cut Off From Your Child
  1. Get Support. Being cut off by your child, with no ability to understand, communicate and resolve things, is difficult enough. ...
  2. Don't Cut off in Response. ...
  3. Don't Feed the Anger. ...
  4. Listen to Your Child Without Defending Yourself. ...
  5. Focus on Yourself, Not Your Child.

What do I do if my child doesn't want to see his dad?

It's important not to dismiss your child when they don't want to see their other parent. Have a conversation and listen to their reasons to validate what they're feeling. Sometimes, a child wants to feel heard. By listening, you could improve their outlook on shared parenting time.

Do I have to take my kids to see their dad?

It is the child's right to see their father and have an ongoing relationship with the parent that they don't live with every day and to be encouraged by the parent they live with to see the other parent and enjoy time with them. Coming to an agreement can be difficult and unfortunately, some cases do go to court.

What is a reasonable phone contact with a non-custodial parent?

Most parenting plans and custody orders include a provision regarding the frequency of phone contact between parent and child during the other parent's custodial time. Typical provisions range from a mandated call once a day to unrestricted telephone access.

Can a mother legally withhold a child from the father?

California generally prohibits parents from withholding visitation unless there is a legitimate reason. Legitimate reasons can mean more than just disliking the other parent. Typically, a court needs to agree to withhold visitation if there is concrete concern that a child is unsafe when with the other parent.

Do I have to keep in contact with my child's father?

It is your choice if you want to minimize communication, but you should definitely not cut it because as co-parents you will need ongoing communication to be able to coordinate what is best for your child's life. You are not required to communicate with your child's father all the time though.

What is it called when a parent keeps a child from the other parent?

Parental alienation is a strategy whereby one parent intentionally displays to the child unjustified negativity aimed at the other parent. The purpose of this strategy is to damage the child's relationship with the other parent and to turn the child's emotions against that other parent.