What not to say in child support court?

Asked by: Dr. Alexis Parker MD  |  Last update: January 24, 2026
Score: 4.1/5 (7 votes)

Avoid cursing and putting down the other parent, your children, in-laws, and other family members, the mediator, the judge, and others involved in the process. That can be tricky when sensitive topics, such as substance abuse, are at play.

What is the biggest mistake in custody battle?

The Most Common Mistakes Made in California Child Custody Cases. Failing to respond to a child custody case will not make the issue go away. Instead, it could lead to a default judgment. This means that whatever the other party is requesting will most likely be granted by the judge because you have not given any input.

What not to say to a judge in court?

Don't lie about anything, not even white [small] lies. If you are discovered to be lying, the judge may find it hard to believe you when you are telling the truth. Don't argue with the questioner. Don't ask questions back: “What would you do if…”

What questions are asked in a child support hearing?

You can expect the following questions:
  • – Child's Needs. Courts need accurate data and information about a child's needs. ...
  • – Income and Assets. Both parents will be asked about their assets and salaries by the judge. ...
  • – Parents' Expenses. ...
  • – Communication. ...
  • – Existing Arrangements.

What not to say during a custody hearing?

Don't Use Possessive Language In Child-Related Matters

While in custody mediation, try your best to consider the other parent in the parenting relationship. Avoid possessive statements when you refer to your child during the discussion, such as “my child” or “my kids.” It's incredibly hurtful to the other parent.

Child Support Court: What To Expect #childsupport

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What looks bad in a custody battle?

Bad-mouthing your ex-spouse or engaging in verbal or physical altercations with them in front of a judge looks bad. If your children are present, it looks even worse. Judges understand that tempers run high during custody cases, but lack of self-control will not reflect favorably.

What makes a strong custody case?

In California, evidence against the other parent showing sexual or physical abuse, neglect, addictions or other serious issues are necessary to pave your way toward getting primary or sole physical custody of your children.

How long does a child support court take?

A: When you file for child or spousal support in California, the time it takes to receive temporary support depends on how soon a court hearing is scheduled. After you file your request, the court typically sets a hearing within a few weeks to a few months.

What is evidence of child support payments?

A check or money order will leave a paper trail in case you ever need to prove your payment. A cashed check or a money order stub are strong evidence that a payment has been made. If you have previously made payments in cash, all is not lost.

What happens if I don't show up for a child support hearing?

The court may attribute his past income to him and then determine child support. If you already have child support established, he will be in contempt of court for not showing up. You can then ask the court to do an Income Withholding Order to garnish the child support from his paycheck.

What words should you avoid in court?

The Bad Word List, also known as the anti-reptile word list, includes: always, never, must, required, every, any, safety, priority, prevent, and violate, among others. Each word eliminates judgment and circumstances and can trap witnesses.

How to impress a judge in court?

Dress professionally and appropriately. It is not necessary to dress like a lawyer, but conservative and “business casual” is a good rule. Do wear tidy clothing and groom yourself neatly. You want to be taken seriously by the judge.

What's the best color to wear to court?

It's best to avoid bright colors. Whether you're a plaintiff or a defendant, dark or neutral colors like white, navy blue, and gray are the best colors to wear to court. Your attorney can offer guidance if you're unsure about what you're wearing.

Who wins most child custody cases?

Mothers historically have won more custody battles due to traditional roles and perceptions of mothers as the primary caregivers.

How a mother can lose a custody battle?

Serious neglect is proper grounds for a mother to lose custody. There is no "perfect parent" standard in the California Family Code. Family law judges understand parenting is an imperfect process.

How do you play dirty in a custody battle?

Examples of Tricks Used in Custody Battles
  1. Maxing out joint credit cards and cleaning out shared bank accounts.
  2. Moving out with the children and taking them to another state.
  3. Making false claims of domestic violence or child abuse.
  4. Getting a restraining order based on false allegations.

How do courts verify income for child support?

Upon request, employers must provide information to state child support agencies about employees, including employment status and information on wages, income, withholdings, and possible health insurance. States use this information to establish and enforce child support orders.

How do I get my child support arrears dismissed in Canada?

If a parent falls behind on their child support payments, they can ask to have the arrears lowered or forgiven due to financial hardship. To argue hardship successfully, the parent must show with sufficient, reliable documentation that they cannot, and will not ever, be able to pay their arrears.

How to win a child support modification case?

Work with your lawyer to persuade the court how the change will benefit the child: Prepare to demonstrate to the judge how your proposed modification to child support benefits your child. Usually, a change on its own won't suffice to justify a modification in child support.

What questions do they ask in custody court?

During a California child custody case, a judge's main concern is the child's best interests. A judge will collect information about the child's relationship with both parents, the child's daily life and routine, how well the parents get along, and many other factors to determine the right child custody arrangement.

How much child support will I pay if I make $1000 a week?

Using a standard calculation, an individual earning $1,000 a week might pay around $250 per month for one child, though this figure can vary significantly based on specific circumstances and local county guidelines.

How long does a family court judge have to make a decision?

Very frequently, the judge rules from the bench at the close of the trial so that the parties know the decision immediately. Sometimes, the judge asks the attorneys for each side to submit a proposed decision within 7 to 30 days, depending on the circumstances, to allow the attorneys time to prepare their proposals.

How to impress a judge for child custody?

Child Custody - Impressing the Judge
  1. Be willing to work with the child's other parent. ...
  2. See your children whenever possible. ...
  3. Don't involve your children in the court case. ...
  4. Don't put the children in the middle. ...
  5. Perception is everything. ...
  6. Hire an experienced child custody lawyer.

Who are the best witnesses for a custody case?

Picking good witnesses, like family, coaches, doctors, social workers, psychologists, counselors, or the kids' school personnel, can help a lot. They can tell the court about the kids' circumstances and what's in their best interest.

How to prove you're a good parent in court?

You can prove to the courts that you are a parent who acts in the best interests of the child by establishing that:
  1. You can provide the child with ideal living conditions.
  2. You are attentive to the child's needs and preferences.
  3. You are fair to the other parent.