What should I do if I can't afford a divorce?

Asked by: Sid O'Reilly DVM  |  Last update: January 29, 2026
Score: 4.8/5 (25 votes)

If you can't afford a divorce, you should seek legal aid/pro bono services, apply for court fee waivers, explore low-cost divorce options like mediation or uncontested divorce, consider legal separation, and use self-help resources from your state's court website for forms and guidance. Gathering financial documents to understand your assets and debts is also crucial for planning.

What do you do if you can't afford to get divorced?

When facing financial hardship in divorce, seek pro bono legal aid through local bar associations or legal aid organizations. Document your financial situation clearly, including assets and debts. Explain any unfair financial practices by the other party to your potential legal aid provider.

What is the 10 10 10 rule for divorce?

The "10/10 Rule" in military divorce determines if a former spouse receives direct payments from the military pension, requiring at least 10 years of marriage that overlap with 10 years of the service member's creditable military service. If this rule is met, the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) sends the court-ordered portion directly to the ex-spouse; if not, the service member pays the ex-spouse directly, though the court can still award a share of the pension. This rule affects how payments are made, not the eligibility for pension division itself, which is decided by state law. 

What's the cheapest a divorce can cost?

The cheapest divorce is an uncontested divorce, costing from under $100 (just filing fees) to around $2,000, achieved by handling it yourself (DIY) with online forms or using online services if you agree on everything (assets, kids, debt). Costs involve state filing fees (around $100-$450) plus optional online services or mediation; if you fight, costs skyrocket to thousands.
 

Who loses more financially in a divorce?

Statistically, women generally lose more financially in a divorce, experiencing sharper drops in household income, higher poverty risk, and increased struggles with housing and childcare, often due to historical gender pay gaps and taking on more childcare roles; however, the financially dependent spouse (often the lower-earning partner) bears the biggest burden, regardless of gender, facing challenges rebuilding independence after career breaks, while men also see a significant drop in living standards, but usually recover better.
 

I Want A Divorce But Can't Afford It!

24 related questions found

What assets are untouchable in divorce?

Assets generally not split in a divorce are separate property, including assets owned before marriage, inheritances, personal gifts, and certain personal injury settlements, provided they are kept separate from marital funds (not commingled). However, these can become divisible if mixed with marital assets (like putting inheritance into a joint account) or if marital funds are used to improve them, requiring careful documentation to maintain their protected status. 

What are the 3 C's of divorce?

The "3 Cs of Divorce" generally refer to Communication, Cooperation, and Compromise, principles that help divorcing couples, especially those with children, navigate the process more smoothly by focusing on respectful dialogue, working together for shared goals (like children's welfare), and making concessions for equitable outcomes, reducing conflict and costs. Some variations substitute Custody or Civility for one of the Cs, emphasizing child-focused decisions or maintaining politeness.
 

What are the alternatives to divorce?

When a marriage is facing significant challenges, many people assume a traditional divorce is the only path. However, there may be other options, such as legal separation and annulment. Each has distinct features of which the spouses should be aware.

How to get an affordable divorce?

The cheapest way to get a divorce is through an uncontested, DIY (Do-It-Yourself) divorce, where you and your spouse agree on all terms (assets, debts, kids) beforehand and handle the paperwork yourselves or use low-cost online services, saving thousands on lawyer fees. Mediation is the next best option, using a neutral third party to reach agreements if direct negotiation is tough, while pro bono or limited-scope legal help offers affordable attorney assistance for complex parts. 

Why is moving out the biggest mistake in a divorce?

Moving out during a divorce is often called a mistake because it can harm your financial standing (paying two households), weaken your position in child custody (appearing less involved), and complicate asset division by creating an "abandonment" perception, making courts favor the spouse who stayed, though it's not always a mistake, especially in cases of domestic violence where safety is paramount. Staying in the home, even in separate rooms, preserves the status quo, keeps you present for kids, and maintains your connection to the property until formal agreements are made.
 

Can my wife get half my social security in a divorce?

Yes, an ex-wife can get up to half (50%) of her ex-husband's Social Security benefit if they were married for at least 10 years, she's unmarried and at least 62, and her own benefit is less than what she'd get from his record, with payments not affecting his or current spouse's benefits. She receives the higher of her own benefit or the spousal benefit, up to 50% of the ex's full retirement amount, and if he dies, she could get 100% (a survivor benefit). 

How long do you have to be split up to get a divorce?

As long as you have been married for at least 12 months, regardless of when you separated, you can start divorce proceedings any time.

How do I divorce my husband if I have no money?

How to get a free divorce in 7 steps

  1. Confirm indigent eligibility.
  2. Obtain divorce forms.
  3. Provide financial proof.
  4. File for a divorce fee waiver.
  5. File the forms with a court.
  6. Get court approval.
  7. Research free legal services in your state.

What is silent divorce?

A silent divorce means a couple stays legally married but is emotionally detached, living together like roommates with little intimacy, communication, or shared goals, often avoiding conflict while feeling isolated. It's a quiet separation where the partnership has faded without a formal breakup, with spouses coexisting practically but existing separately emotionally.
 

Am I responsible for my spouse's credit card debt in divorce?

The bottom line. You are generally not responsible for your spouse's credit card debt unless you are a co-signer for the card or you're a joint cardholder on the account. However, state laws vary, and divorce or the death of your spouse could also impact your liability for this debt.

What is the biggest mistake during a divorce?

The biggest mistake during a divorce often involves letting emotions drive decisions, leading to poor financial choices, using children as weapons, failing to plan for the future, or getting bogged down in petty fights that escalate costs and conflict, ultimately hurting all parties involved, especially the kids. Key errors include not getting legal/financial advice, fighting over small assets, exaggerating claims, and neglecting your own well-being. 

What is the first thing I should do if I want a divorce?

The first steps of divorce involve legal and personal preparation, starting with understanding your state's residency requirements, gathering financial documents, and consulting a family law attorney to develop a strategy for an uncontested or contested divorce. Legally, it begins by filing a Petition for Divorce (or Complaint) and Summons with the court, formally notifying your spouse (service of process), and then waiting for their response to either agree or contest the terms like asset division, child custody, and support.
 

What to do financially before divorce?

To financially prepare for divorce, gather all financial documents (tax returns, bank statements, deeds, etc.), create a detailed budget for a single-income household, understand your assets and debts, and build a financial cushion while seeking professional advice from a divorce-savvy attorney and financial advisor to protect your future. Key steps include inventorying all finances, establishing separate accounts, understanding tax implications, and updating estate plans. 

What is the 2 2 2 2 rule in marriage?

The 2-2-2 rule is a relationship guideline for couples to maintain connection by scheduling intentional time together: a date night every 2 weeks, a weekend away every 2 months, and a week-long vacation every 2 years, helping to prioritize the relationship amidst daily stresses and routines. It's a framework for regular quality time, communication, and fun, originating from a Reddit post and gaining traction for preventing couples from drifting apart by focusing on consistent connection. 

Who loses most in a divorce?

In divorce, women often suffer more significant financial hardship and loss of living standards, while men are more prone to severe emotional distress, depression, and health issues like substance abuse, though both genders face substantial challenges, and children's lives are deeply disrupted by family changes. The most vulnerable in any divorce are often the children, whose routines, finances, and emotional stability are all profoundly affected by their parents' separation, regardless of who files for divorce. 

What are the four behaviors that cause 90% of all divorces?

The four behaviors that predict divorce with over 90% certainty, known as the "Four Horsemen," are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling, identified by relationship researcher John Gottman; these toxic communication patterns erode a marriage by destroying trust and connection, with contempt being the most damaging. 

What is the #1 divorce cause?

The number one reason for divorce is consistently cited as lack of commitment, often leading to infidelity, growing apart, and frequent conflict/arguing, with financial problems, poor communication, and addiction also being major factors that erode the foundation of a marriage. 

What is the 7 7 7 rule for couples?

The 7-7-7 rule for couples is a relationship guideline suggesting they schedule consistent, quality time together: a date night every 7 days, a weekend getaway every 7 weeks, and a longer, romantic vacation every 7 months, designed to maintain connection, prevent drifting apart, and reduce burnout by fostering regular intentionality and fun. While some find the schedule ambitious or costly, experts agree the principle of regular, dedicated connection is vital, encouraging couples to adapt the frequency to fit their lives.
 

Who initiates 90% of divorces?

Women initiate a significant majority of divorces, around 70%, with this figure rising to nearly 90% for college-educated women, according to studies like one from the American Sociological Association. This trend highlights women's greater dissatisfaction with marital dynamics, often stemming from taking on more emotional labor and feeling a lack of connection or fulfillment, leading them to be the ones to file for divorce, notes The Whitley Law Firm and Barnes & Diehl, P.C.. 

What accounts can't be touched in a divorce?

In a divorce, accounts generally untouchable are those containing separate property, meaning assets owned before marriage, inherited money, or gifts given to one spouse, provided they haven't been mixed (commingled) with marital funds. Examples include pre-marital savings, specific inheritances, and gifts intended for one person, but keeping detailed records is crucial to prove their separate status and prevent them from becoming divisible marital assets.