Why does a counsellor not give advice?
Asked by: Jerome Littel | Last update: December 31, 2025Score: 4.8/5 (5 votes)
Counseling is not the same as giving advice. Advice is judgmental; it assumes that you need to be told what's right for you. A counselor doesn't tell you what to do. They will guide you in finding your solution, and not impose their solutions on you.
Why do counselors not give advice?
- We don't know our clients better than they know themselves
- We have no way of knowing the full repercussions our advice could have
- We don't want clients to feel dependent on us to make decisions
- Advice that results in negative outcomes could harm the therapeutic relationship
Is it unethical for a therapist to give advice?
While there may be practitioners out there who do view themselves as the expert, giving advice as a therapist is not only unhelpful, but very often unethical and in some cases harmful.
What counsellors Cannot do?
We can't offer fixes, tell you how to resolve a problem or guarantee there is a “solution”. Rather, we work with you to help you achieve goals and find a positive way to move forward. Change other people – if you come to therapy hoping to change your partner or someone around you, you're going to be disappointed.
Why does my therapist not say anything?
It's to help you get to know yourself better. Unlike anyone else you know, a therapist won't expect a turn. They won't be waiting to jump in with their opinion or to tell you how their experience was different.
Jordan Peterson shows you how to be a good therapist
Why doesn t my therapist gave me advice?
For another thing, giving you direct advice would disempower you. Good therapists don't want to become an authority figure you passively follow. They want to help you access your own power and expertise. They believe you're the expert on your own life—not them.
Why do therapists go silent?
Therapists often use silence as a tool to promote self-reflection and encourage deeper thought. It provides a space for clients to process their emotions and thoughts more thoroughly. In therapy, silence isn't just absence of words. It can be a powerful method to enhance communication.
What are the top 10 common counselling mistakes?
- Taking a Side. ...
- Engaging in a Power Struggle. ...
- Answering Direct Questions. ...
- Colluding in "either/or" Questions. ...
- Assuming You Know What's Best (you could be wrong even when it seems. ...
- Being Focused on Your Own Agenda. ...
- Over-validating.
What can you not tell a counselor?
Because therapy is such a personal thing, what you tell a therapist must remain confidential. This includes things like affairs, past crimes, and "bad behavior" that isn't necessarily criminal behavior.
What do therapists notice about their clients?
* When discussing emotionally charged topics I notice when a client's breathing pattern changes, eyes are teary or glassy, their skin tone changes, etc. * I notice whether they are leaning towards me or away from me, how their body position changes throughout the session, or at particular points.
What should a therapist never say to a client?
Give unsolicited advice. Contrary to popular belief, a good therapist will never tell you how you should live your life. They won't tell you how to treat your family members, to break up with a toxic spouse, or what hobbies to take up.
Do relationship counselors give advice?
“Your counsellor must remain impartial and not give advice, take sides or point you in a particular direction,” says Kathleen. “It's their role to help you see your relationship more clearly and find the best way forwards.”
What makes a therapist unprofessional?
A bad therapist might have poor ethics, bad boundaries, and questionable therapeutic skills that could actually worsen your symptoms rather than improving them. Good therapists are kind, respectful listeners. They use effective therapy interventions and have strong ethics.
What not to say as a counsellor?
In addition, therapists should not offer their judgment or criticism about you or others, give unsolicited advice, or speak in hard-to-follow technical terms.
Why you shouldn't always give advice?
If you're like me, you may think, “Wait! I am just trying to help!” But research suggests that it almost doesn't matter whether your advice is helpful or not — if it's unsolicited. If you give someone unsolicited advice at work, they're more likely to ignore your advice or perceive your advice as manipulative.
Should you tell your counselor everything?
It strengthens emotional well-being: Being truthful with your therapist boosts emotional healing. It allows you to express your intrusive thoughts and feelings authentically, alleviating emotional burdens like stress and anxiety.
Why Counsellors don't give advice?
The therapeutic process is often designed to empower individuals and promote their autonomy. Instead of giving direct advice, counsellors aim to help clients explore their thoughts, feelings, and options, enabling them to make informed decisions on their own.
Why does my therapist watch my hands?
Therapists can learn about your emotional state, level of comfort, and underlying psychological issues through your hand movements. It provides additional context to verbal communication.
Can you overshare in therapy?
It is possible to overshare in therapy if what you are talking about is not relevant or useful to your growth. Here are some examples of oversharing in therapy: Unrelated tangents: When a client goes on tangents that do not relate to their own experiences or feelings. Too much time on mundane details.
What are the unethical Behaviours in counselling?
- Engaging in dual relationships.
- Breach of confidentiality.
- Unethical billing practices.
- Sexual relationships.
- Client abandonment.
What are the disadvantages of a counsellor?
CON: It can be emotionally demanding
The psychotherapy process requires patients to openly confront pain, stress and emotional suffering in their lives, which can be extremely draining for both them and you. You will also have to be emotionally available to clients who are often angry and disrespectful.
What are the risks of giving advice in counselling?
- Giving Advice Is Not Their Job. ...
- Giving Advice Can Handicap Clients. ...
- Therapists Could Be Sued. ...
- What You Can Do When Clients Ask for Advice. ...
- Considerations and Warnings. ...
- Instead of Giving Clients Homework.
What do therapists do when clients don't talk?
The client's silence may indicate that they are in contemplation or even pre-contemplation. It may be important to slow the pace of therapy in order to match the current needs of the client. Reflection is significantly more effective than skill training for the silent client.
Do therapists ever cry in session?
As a result, students may be led to believe that therapists must remain strong and neutral, and that tears are unprofessional and undermine a therapist's strictly defined role. Yet tears are common for many therapists, research suggests.
Why does my counselor stare at me?
By looking you in the eyes, your therapist shows that they are giving you their full attention. Not only does this show you that they're not distracted by something else, it also shows they want to connect to what you're saying on a deeper level. They want to connect with what you're feeling, too.