How to keep bah after a divorce?

What is the 10-10-10 rule for divorce?

The "10/10 Rule" in military divorce determines if a former spouse receives direct payments from the military pension, requiring at least 10 years of marriage that overlap with 10 years of the service member's creditable military service. If this rule is met, the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) sends the court-ordered portion directly to the ex-spouse; if not, the service member pays the ex-spouse directly, though the court can still award a share of the pension. This rule affects how payments are made, not the eligibility for pension division itself, which is decided by state law. 

What is the 7 7 7 rule for couples?

The 7-7-7 rule for couples is a relationship guideline suggesting they schedule consistent, quality time together: a date night every 7 days, a weekend getaway every 7 weeks, and a longer, romantic vacation every 7 months, designed to maintain connection, prevent drifting apart, and reduce burnout by fostering regular intentionality and fun. While some find the schedule ambitious or costly, experts agree the principle of regular, dedicated connection is vital, encouraging couples to adapt the frequency to fit their lives.
 

What money can't be touched in a divorce?

Money that can't be touched in a divorce is typically separate property, including assets owned before marriage, inheritances, and gifts, but it must be kept separate from marital funds to avoid becoming divisible; commingling (mixing) these funds with joint accounts, or using inheritance to pay marital debt, can make them vulnerable to division. Prenuptial agreements or clear documentation are key to protecting these untouchable assets, as courts generally divide marital property acquired during the marriage.
 

Does my wife have to live with me for BAH?

Under most circumstances, you receive BAH for the location where you are assigned, not where you live. Additionally, you may be entitled to some BAH amounts if you are residing separately from your dependents.

What is the 20 20 15 rule for military divorce?

Scenario 2: The 20-20-15 Rule

20: You were married to the same sponsor/service member for at least 20 years. 15: Fifteen of those years overlap the 20 years of creditable (active or reserve) service that counted toward your sponsor's retirement.

What not to do during separation?

When separated, you should not rush big decisions, badmouth your spouse (especially to kids or on social media), involve children in the conflict, move out of the family home without cause, make financial promises without legal advice, or let emotions dictate impulsive actions like excessive spending or dating too soon, focusing instead on maintaining civility and protecting finances and children. 

What are the four behaviors that cause 90% of all divorces?

The four behaviors that predict divorce with over 90% certainty, known as the "Four Horsemen," are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling, identified by relationship researcher John Gottman; these toxic communication patterns erode a marriage by destroying trust and connection, with contempt being the most damaging. 

How do people survive financially after divorce?

Alimony can be an important lifeline, especially if there's been a long-term income gap between you and your ex. Courts may award alimony to help you maintain a reasonable standard of living and give you time to rebuild financial independence.

What are divorced military spouses entitled to?

Military spouses have specific rights in divorce under federal law, primarily through the Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act (USFSPA), which allows states to divide military retirement pay and grants benefits like healthcare (TRICARE), commissary, and exchange access under the 20/20/20 rule (20-year marriage, 20 years service, 20-year overlap) or the 20/20/15 rule for reduced benefits. While state courts handle the divorce itself, federal law dictates these key entitlements, which often include a portion of disposable military retired pay and continued access to MWR/medical facilities if criteria are met, though benefits cease if the former spouse remarries. 

Can I get BAH with 50/50 custody?

Dependent eligibility shifts: BAH-with-dependents rates require at least 50% custody of a child. Divorce decrees must clearly outline custody percentages to maintain eligibility. Geographic complications: Relocation after divorce may require recalculating BAH rates under Military.com's BAH calculator.

Who loses more financially in a divorce?

Statistically, women generally lose more financially in a divorce, experiencing sharper drops in household income, higher poverty risk, and increased struggles with housing and childcare, often due to historical gender pay gaps and taking on more childcare roles; however, the financially dependent spouse (often the lower-earning partner) bears the biggest burden, regardless of gender, facing challenges rebuilding independence after career breaks, while men also see a significant drop in living standards, but usually recover better.
 

Will I lose BAH if I get divorced?

Once a judgment of divorce is entered, a former military spouse loses all access to BAH benefits. The divorce means that the spouse is no longer a service member's dependent and is therefore not eligible to live in government housing. Typically, the former spouse will have 30 days to move out.

What is the 2 2 2 2 rule in marriage?

The 2-2-2 rule is a relationship guideline for couples to maintain connection by scheduling intentional time together: a date night every 2 weeks, a weekend away every 2 months, and a week-long vacation every 2 years, helping to prioritize the relationship amidst daily stresses and routines. It's a framework for regular quality time, communication, and fun, originating from a Reddit post and gaining traction for preventing couples from drifting apart by focusing on consistent connection. 

What is the 10-10-10 rule in the military?

In addition, for orders dividing retired pay as property to be enforced under the USFSPA, a member and former spouse must have been married to each other for 10 years or more during which the member performed at least 10 years of military service creditable towards retirement eligibility (the 10/10 rule).

Why is moving out the biggest mistake in a divorce?

Moving out during a divorce is often called a mistake because it can harm your financial standing (paying two households), weaken your position in child custody (appearing less involved), and complicate asset division by creating an "abandonment" perception, making courts favor the spouse who stayed, though it's not always a mistake, especially in cases of domestic violence where safety is paramount. Staying in the home, even in separate rooms, preserves the status quo, keeps you present for kids, and maintains your connection to the property until formal agreements are made.
 

How do I protect myself financially in a divorce?

What Should I Do to Protect Myself in a Divorce and Safeguard My Financial Stability?

1. Create a Financial Plan for Your Divorce. ...
2. Open Your Own Bank Account. ...
3. Separate Your Debt. ...
4. Monitor Your Credit Score. ...
5. Take an Inventory of Your Assets. ...
6. Review Your Retirement Accounts. ...
7. Consider Mediation Before Litigation.

What is the biggest mistake in divorce?

The biggest mistake during a divorce often involves letting emotions drive decisions, leading to poor financial choices, using children as weapons, failing to plan for the future, or getting bogged down in petty fights that escalate costs and conflict, ultimately hurting all parties involved, especially the kids. Key errors include not getting legal/financial advice, fighting over small assets, exaggerating claims, and neglecting your own well-being. 

What is the #1 thing that destroys marriages?

While different sources highlight various factors, many experts point to breakdown in communication, leading to contempt, disrespect, and lack of commitment, as the most destructive forces in a marriage, often manifesting as emotional distance, frequent criticism, and a feeling of being unheard or unloved. These issues erode trust and intimacy over time, with infidelity and power imbalances being extreme examples of these underlying problems. 

What age gap is too big?

There's no universal "too big" age gap, but generally, differences over 10 years become more challenging due to different life stages, cultural references, and peer groups, though success depends heavily on individual maturity, compatibility, shared goals, and communication, with some couples thriving with 15+ year gaps while others struggle with smaller ones. A common guideline, the "half your age plus seven rule," suggests the youngest someone can date is half your age plus seven, but it's a simplified, dated, and gender-biased idea. 

Do most couples split bills 50/50?

Many couples split bills 50/50, especially if they are earning similar salaries. If your incomes are significantly different, however, a more equitable solution might be to split expenses proportionally according to each partner's income.