What questions do divorce mediators ask?

Asked by: Dorian Swift  |  Last update: July 13, 2025
Score: 4.1/5 (19 votes)

Although every mediation is different, you'll want to be prepared to discuss:
  • Marital property division and debt allocation. ...
  • Retirement account division. ...
  • Spousal support. ...
  • Child custody. ...
  • Child support. ...
  • Insurance coverage. ...
  • Future communication. ...
  • Anything else.

What should you not say during mediation?

Disrespectful Comments

Making unnecessary comments under your breath, having a negative attitude, or rolling your eyes won't help you. The defense team might decide they don't want to meet you halfway to reach an agreement if you mistreat them. The mediator might not want to work with you, either.

What questions will I be asked in mediation?

Questions on Disagreements (2)
  • Is there a way that both of you might be right? ...
  • What criteria could you use to decide what works best?
  • Would it be possible to test your ideas in practice and see which work best? ...
  • you do that?
  • Would you be willing to jointly investigate your conflicting factual assertions?

What not to do in divorce mediation?

In this blog, we'll explore some phrases to avoid during mediation and offer guidance on how to communicate effectively.
  • Avoid Making Accusatory Statements. ...
  • Avoid Refusing to Communicate. ...
  • Avoid Making Unrealistic Demands. ...
  • Don't Discuss Your Legal Strategy. ...
  • Avoid Bringing Up the Past. ...
  • Don't Say You Refuse to Budge.

What is the downside to divorce mediation?

The disadvantages of divorce mediation are:

When you do not have an attorney, no one is looking out for your best interests. No one is advising you so that you can make the best decisions for you.

The Best Questions to Ask a Divorce Mediator

31 related questions found

How often does divorce mediation fail?

Mediation is often successful. Experts say about 80% of people who enter mediation leave with an agreement. But sometimes, couples can't agree, even when they're committed to the mediation process. You can still get the divorce you want, even if your mediation fails.

What are the 5 steps of mediation?

The five steps of mediation (and negotiation)
  • Preliminary stage. The first step in the process is the preliminary stage, during which you're deciding whether to mediate. ...
  • Preparation stage. ...
  • Information stage. ...
  • Negotiation stage. ...
  • Closing stage. ...
  • The takeaway.

Who loses the most in a divorce?

Statistics show that while women initiate divorce almost twice the rate that men do, women are also much more likely to greatly struggle financially after divorce. This is particularly true if children are involved.

What to say in divorce mediation?

What To Ask for in Your Divorce Mediation
  • Fair Property Division. ...
  • Equitable Asset Division. ...
  • Debt Allocation. ...
  • Best Child Custody Arrangement. ...
  • Fair Child Support. ...
  • Fair Spousal Support. ...
  • Insurance Policy Ownership. ...
  • Clear Procedures and Communication.

Do I have to say anything in mediation?

The mediator will likely have everyone introduce themselves and will explain the process. The mediator will then tell you that discussions during the mediation are privileged and cannot be divulged at a hearing or trial and nothing said at the mediation can be brought up later.

Do lawyers talk during mediation?

Your lawyer – and the other party's lawyer – will be doing most of the speaking during mediation. Now, the mediatior may have questions for you, but the mediatior will likely only do so when he or she is meeting privately with you and your lawyer. We have more resources available on the topic of mediation.

What words do you use in mediation?

We then asked the mediators what words do you use to prime parties for the mediation process? The responses included 'efficient,' 'fair,' 'listen,' 'partner,' 'together,' 'trust,' 'appreciate,' 'willingness,' 'result,' 'path,' 'future' and 'please.

What are clarifying questions in mediation?

Clarifying Questions are simple questions of fact. They clarify the dilemma and provide the nuts and bolts so that the participants can ask good probing questions and provide useful feedback. Examples of Clarifying Questions: Is this what you said…?

What is the golden rule of mediation?

The Golden Rule of Mediation is to treat others as you would like to be treated during the negotiation process. It embodies the principles of fairness, respect, and collaboration, guiding parties to engage in negotiations in good faith and with a focus on achieving a mutually beneficial resolution.

What is the hardest part of mediation?

The most difficult part of the mediation process is to get people to accept that mediation can be an effective way to resolve their dispute. Most disputes tend to be very personal and some people want their day in court, whatever the cost.

What is unsuitable for mediation?

Mediation may be unsuitable if: you do not feel safe when communicating with the other participants. there is a power imbalance that means one or more of the participants is not able to participate equally in the process and negotiate on their own behalf effectively.

How successful is divorce mediation?

When Divorce Mediation Isn't Your Best Option. Even though Divorce Mediation enjoys a success rate of 80-85% it just isn't right for every divorcing couple. These are a few examples of circumstances where legal representation is your best first option.

How do you win a mediation case?

Mediation: Ten Rules for Success
  1. Rule 1: The decision makers must participate. ...
  2. Rule 2: The important documents must be physically present. ...
  3. Rule 3: Be right, but only to a point. ...
  4. Rule 4: Build a deal. ...
  5. Rule 5: Treat the other party with respect. ...
  6. Rule 6: Be persuasive. ...
  7. Rule 7: Focus on interests.

What to wear to divorce mediation?

Additionally, choose clothing with clean lines and tailored silhouettes to convey a polished and put-together appearance. Avoid overly casual attire, such as t-shirts, jeans, or athletic wear, as they may undermine the seriousness of the mediation process.

Who is usually happier after divorce?

Additionally, a study by Kingston University indicates that women tend to be happier after divorce than men do.

What is the #1 cause divorce?

The most commonly reported major contributors to divorce were lack of commitment, infidelity, and conflict/arguing. The most common “final straw” reasons were infidelity, domestic violence, and substance use. More participants blamed their partners than blamed themselves for the divorce.

How to avoid getting screwed in a divorce?

Ten Ways to Keep From Screwing Up Your Divorce
  1. Get professional help. ...
  2. Get your share. ...
  3. Insure your future. ...
  4. Terminate joint debt. ...
  5. Consider taxes on support. ...
  6. Transfer retirement assets. ...
  7. Rev up your retirement planning. ...
  8. Cut your ex out of your will.

What is the average settlement offer during mediation?

Mediation is a process that often provides parties the opportunity to reach settlement agreements, though average offers tend to range from 20-50% of damages. It's important for both involved in mediation sessions and negotiations.

What to say during mediation?

You are trying to persuade the other party and not the mediator, therefore speak directly to him or her. Describe particular behaviour rather than making generalizations. Avoid using words like “always” and “never.” Give concrete examples to illustrate your point of view.

How to negotiate a settlement in mediation?

Learn about the facts and issues through the briefs and/or a joint session. Meet privately with the mediator at least twice to share your thoughts and find out what the other side is up to. Negotiate patiently. As long as both sides are moving, there may be a deal.